Breakfast Befit the Betrothed

So check this out: I'm going to get married. Yeah, your fatty foodie friend popped the question right after preparing a rack of smoky babyback ribs, baked beans, and sauteed zucchini and yellow squash. That was the last day of our vacation, so on the way back to civilization the next morning we were naturally looking for a local breakfast spot. What we found was the Windmill Restaurant in Holland, Michigan.



Some cursory internet research tipped us off to this place, a cozy greasy-spoon-type place, tucked into the quaint downtown area. This is the kind of joint where you'd expect the service to be as buttery as the food, and I'll be damned if it didn't deliver on both counts. It's pretty clear that they're known for their breakfasts, even though they do have a lunch menu as well.

Words to live by: "Breakfast Served Anytime." This is how you know you're about to eat well and hearty.

Standard diner breakfast fare abounds on the top half of the menu page, but things start to get interesting around the house specialties. I'm intrigued by something called a Bird's Nest: a pile of hash browns and bacon bits, topped with cheddar cheese and two eggs:



I got my eggs over medium because I didn't want a yolk-y mess. Props to the short-order cook for nailing that. As great as that looks, here's the best part:



A BIG FUCKING CINNAMON ROLL!!! Actually, they give you the choice of this, a muffin, or their homemade toast (as in, they bake their own bread, then toast it). I had to put the quarter there to give you a sense of scale, but even that's misleading. This thing was huge. Like, eat it with both hands huge.

As amazing as my breakfast was shaping up to be, I could not have been prepared for what landed in front of Erin. She ordered a little something called the "Hashbrown Omelette," which I assumed would be a traditional omelette stuffed with hashbrowns, which seemed like a nice convenience for those of us who tend to combine our breakfast foods. Wow, was I wrong...



THE OMELETTE IS INSIDE THE HASHBROWNS!!! I'm honestly not sure if there's even eggs in there. I do know that it's a greasy melange of cheese, sausage, and onions inside what appears to be about a pound of hash browns. This sucker is huge too - luckily they offer a half size for patrons who don't want to die of an immediate coronary. Take a look inside. How could you not want to put this in your taste hole?



If you ever find yourself in southwestern Michigan, get thee to the Windmill. Don't be upset by the lack of an actual windmill: the food will more than make up for it.

Postscript: After breakfast Erin told me that I'm never allowed to eat a hashbrown omelette, for fear that the imminent and inevitable cardiac arrest would spell the end of our marriage. 'Til death do us part indeed...