Pozole (to be sung to the tune of "Volare")

I know, I know, you're thinking: "Man, I've been nixtamalizing corn all summer and fall, what am I going to do with all this hominy? Everyone I know is so sick of grits." I've got one word for you...

Pozole!

Traditional Mexican pork, hominy and chile stew. The pre-conquistador Aztec version used fresh human meat. Spanish priests switched it to pork because it apparently tastes very similar. You may want to leave that detail out until after everybody eats.

Here's a recipe I lifted and adapted from this random guy on the internet. His version seemed too heavy on the hominy for my taste. I do agree that the Hatch green chiles are the way to go here. They are hard to find, but worth it if you can get 'em. This is super easy to make. Sorry for the lack of pictures to prove it.

INGREDIENTS:
2-29 oz. cans white hominy
4-5 pounds pork tenderloin (cut into small chunks)
1 large yellow onion (finely chopped)
16 oz. green chiles, heat level at your discretion - NOTE: Don't sub jalapenos! Trust me.
1 tablespoon minced/chopped/pressed garlic
2 oz. menudo spice mix or chili powder
1 teaspoon dry oregano
salt (lots)
pepper (lots)
olive oil

In a large stock pot (the ingredients above will yield about 6 quarts) combine the hominy, chopped onions, garlic, oregano and green chile. Cover the ingredients with water, then add a little more. Add a lot of salt and pepper. I mean, A LOT. Put in what you think is too much, then add some more; it'll need it. Boil the mixture while you prepare the meat.

Heat some olive oil in a frying pan and brown the pork slowly. It doesn't have to be cooked entirely through, just sear the outside. Add a reasonable amount of salt and pepper here. You may have to do this in batches: 4-5 pounds of pork cubes don't conveniently fit in one frying pan.

Once the pork is browned, stir it into the stock pot with the other ingredients. Once it starts boiling again, turn down the heat and let it simmer for 15 minutes. Stir, then bring to a boil again. Reduce heat, stir and allow this to simmer for about six hours, stirring about every 30 minutes to keep the bottom from burning. About half way through, add salt and pepper to taste.

For best results, ladle the finished pozole into smaller containers and put it in the refrigerator overnight. Reheat and serve with grated cheese and yellow corn tortillas/tortilla chips.

Fast, Delicious Fish Tacos!

Hungry and in need of some quick, tasty, and healthy eats a few nights back, Nicole and I made a quick trip to Dave’s for vittles. It had been predetermined that tacos were our course of action, but the kind of taco had yet to be decided. Unfortunately Dave’s at Cedar and Fairmount doesn’t carry the box of fake taco meat that we really enjoy (especially if you cook the “meat” with beeraritas instead of water!) so we decided on fish tacos instead.

Picking out fish for fish tacos is a tricky feat. On the one hand you want the tacos to taste awesome and that starts with some good fish. On the other hand blowing a bunch of dough on fancy cuts of designer fish is stupid if you’re just going to top the tacos with sour cream, onion, cilantro, hot sauce, etc. A nice middle of the road, mild white fish is ideal for these applications, and really these alone. The tilapia prices were a tad high at Dave’s that night, and I’ve never heard of basa (and after reading this, maybe I’m glad we chose otherwise) so we got a pound of catfish nuggets. Catfish has a clean, mild fishy taste, ideal for lots of cooking applications and it is possible to farm raise cat fish in ways that are both economically and environmentally sound. Catfish nuggets seem to be the ends of fillets and other cuts, not the prettiest pieces of fish I’ve ever seen (there were some free guts attached to ours!) but they would end up working nicely.

Our plan was to cut the fish into little bite sized pieces and pan fry them before they met tortilla. In order to impart some flavor and texture to them before they hit the pan I dredged them in cornmeal and chili powder with a little salt and pepper mixed in. I fried them for about a minute on each side in about an eighth of an inch of vegetable oil. In a medium frying pan this took about three batches to get through all the fish. As each batch finished I let them drain on paper towels and hit them with a pinch of salt and a few grinds of pepper. To dress our tacos I finely chopped some onion and cilantro while Nicole made a creama out of sour cream, lime, and cilantro by pureeing the three in a bowl with a stick blender.

While all this other cooking was going on we had a black bean side dish simmering on another burner. While there is no defined recipe, this bean dish is something we’ve been tinkering with for a while now. The only real set ingredients are beans, beer, salt, and pepper. To make this we start by draining and rinsing a can of black beans. The beans go into a small sauce pan with a bout 4oz of beer, nothing fancy, usually PBR. The beans then get seasoned with salt and pepper. Since our cooking usually veers towards Mexican a few healthy dashes of Mexican spices go into the beans with some big splashes of hot sauce—Valentina or garlic Cholula—and a good squeeze of lime. If it’s around and/or we remember a clove of garlic is usually crushed and stirred in. Onions are optional before, during, after, or not at all. Cook this all together, stirring occasionally, until the beans soften slightly and most of the beer has cooked away. These are excellent already but can be dressed with hot sauce, sour cream, cilantro, onion, lime or any combination of the above.

Once all the fish was cooked and the beans were ready we lightly sautéed tortillas in a small frying pan with a few drops of olive oil to give them a little color and flavor as well as taking the chill of the refrigerator off; a pinch of salt on the tortillas while the oil is still hot is a nice finishing touch. If you’re disinclined towards this method you can always wet a few paper towels and ring them out at thoroughly as possible. Lay the paper towels out and lay the tortillas end to end across the towels. Roll this all up into a loose tube and pop it in the microwave for 15-45 seconds depending on the size and quantity of the tortillas and your microwave.

To assemble our fish tacos we made a small bed of creama for the fish to lay in then dropped five or six of the fish bites onto the tortilla. These were topped with a few minced onions and some cilantro along with hot sauce and a pinch of lime. The beans received a dollop of the creama as well, and some more lime and hot sauce. Altogether a simple, delicious meal that we devoured as we watched the fantastic 80’s horror homage House of the Devil.

If I had to do it all over again, and I definitely would, instead of seasoning the fish then frying it in oil I would cut the fish and let it marinate in some oil for half an hour or so. I would season the oil with chili powder, cayenne powder, and lime zest. Just before they hit the pan I’d drain the fish bites of excess oil and let them sear in the pan for about two minutes total. While the corn meal I used above gave the fish a bit of texture I think this method would allow the out side of the fish to sear better and develop a bit more flavor.

A Very Belated Liver Punisher Drink of the Month Club: "August Drink of the Month!"

Due to personal scheduling conflicts, this post is about a month over due. Please, enjoy anyways!

August’s Drink of the Month Club “Drink of the Month” is something you’ve probably drunk before, but had no idea you were drinking it while you were. It’s a nearly ubiquitous in bars and restaurants across America in some form or another, but it’s so common it goes unnamed. If you’re a beer drinker and you enjoy Mexican food you’ve almost certainly received a beer with a wedge of lime crammed in the neck or resting on the top of the can, and enjoyed the sweet/sour combination of beer and fresh squeezed lime. Now, let me introduce you, by name, to this taste.

Michelada meet drinker, drinker meet michelada. Also known as cervesa preperada, or prepared beer, this is a cocktail that seeks to enhance the cool, refreshing qualities of Mexican, and domestic for that matter, lagers.

Origins are unclear, but some say the michelada was created as a way to make sub-standard Mexican beer palatable to American tourists. I’m not convinced this is true as most Mexican lagers outstrip the majority of American macro-brewed beers. So far, of all the Mexican beers I’ve tried, and I’ve tried most of them as this point, this is only true of Corona, whose bland, skunky taste requires limey goodness to make even approach drinkability. Other myths of origin suggest that limes were swirled around the mouths of beer containers in order to kill any bacteria lurking in the ice used to chill the beers at resorts. This seems more plausible, but I’m still skeptical. No, I think it comes down to man’s nature to try and improve on something. The michelada doesn’t necessarily try to reinvent the wheel, it’s more of a white walls and spinners deal.

Michelada recipes are as varied as the countries of South and Central America, utilizing a variety of native ingredients to enhance the both taste and rejuvenating qualities of native brews. Perhaps you’ve seen Bud’s “chelada” in a can, a foul, foul mixture of clamato juice and Bud, lite or regular—your choice!—is a variation on a common Mexican version, while a spicy Cubana contains Worcestershire sauce, Tobasco, chile, and salt. Stateside, the so called “shandy” is a michelada made up of lager and lemonade. There are literally endless variations of micheladas, the only limit is imagination and mixable ingredients.

I would now like to share with you a few of my favorite michelada recipes:

(Note: when making these I primarily used 12oz. bottles and cans of Modelo Especial and PBR, but any medium bodied lager, or “beer that tastes like beer” should do nicely.)

Super Simple Michelada:
Open beer, take drink, squeeze in lime, swirl to mix, enjoy! It’s as simple as that, just a little lime juice, even from the little squeezable plastic lime works nicely. If you want to class this up a bit and impress your friends remove the beer can from the fridge and let it stand at room temp for a minute or two until it starts to sweat a little bit. Once there’s enough condensation built up to make some salt stick, roll the rim of the can in kosher salt then open, drink, lime, drink again. If you’d rather not have to lick all the edges of the can to get a little salt every time, simply line the rim of a glass with salt, squeeze in the lime then pour beer over top to mix.
Nicolassa’s Famosa Beermosa:
Nicole would often speak of a michelada of her own invention. A self described greatest-thing-since-champagne-and-orange-juice drink she had dubbed “Beermosa” in honor of the aforementioned concoction. The recipe might actually be easier than our Super Simple Michelada: Into a pint glass pour one bottle or can of beer. Top with 3-4oz of your preferred orange juice, stir lightly to combine, and enjoy with the breakfast or brunch of your choosing. A delicious and refreshing way to start the day and/or take a little hair of the dog.

The RMC:
Like any lucky kid growing up I got to spend a fair amount of my childhood being spoiled by my grandparents. And for all the wonderful memories I have of my grandfather, one of the strongest was his interesting habit of seasoning certain food and drink items, namely his beer and watermelon which both received a pinch of salt. It was in that spirit, and the influence of 21st Amendment Brewery’s Hell or High Watermelon that I created this quaffable tribute. Once again coat the rim of a pint glass with salt, the easiest way to do this is to rub the edge with lime then upturn the glass into a saucer of salt; you could go out and buy a tub of “Margarita” salt, but why spend when you already have everything you need. Into this salty rimmed glass pour 2-3oz of watermelon juice (recipe follows). Top with a bottle or can beer and float a lemon wheel on top. The sweet watermelon, bitter beer, sour lemon, and salty salt makes this a drink that appeals to all the tastes. It is incredibly easy drinking, almost to a fault, and is should even appeal to the tastes of folks who claim to not like beer.

The Beer-a-Rita:
For a real kick in pants try this boozy version of the michelada. In a shaker or mixing glass combine, per person, 1 shot of tequila blanca, a healthy squeeze of lime (say an eighth or so), and a splash of triple sec. Add a shot of the mixture to a can of beer, from which a few sips have been taken and the edge has been coated with salt. You could, of course, do all this in a glass, but why when this is more fun. To a, mostly, full beer this imparts just a hint of margarita goodness throughout. Just a hint of the sweet/sour from the triple sec and lime, and that great fresh, earthy, grassy bite from the tequila. Watch out, though, this’ll michelada will really clean your clock.

La Michelada Ultima:
While the above recipes are all well and good—and by good I mean awesome!—they are admittedly anglicized versions of the michelada, so I wanted to create something that would be more traditional and authentic. This is what I came up with: take course salt, kosher would be best, and place 2-3 tablespoonfuls into a small Tupperware container. Shake in a few dashes of any or all of the following: chili powder, cayenne powder, or dried chipotle powder; there should be enough seasoning that there are red and brown flecks scattered throughout the slat, but not so much that it overwhelms the salt; no more than an eighth of a teaspoon per 3tbs of salt. Shake well to combine and empty onto a saucer. Rim a pint glass with the spicy salt and squeeze the juice of half a lime into the bottom of the glass. Some recipes call for even more than that—about 3-4 teaspoons per half—but I found that to be overwhelming, like drinking beer flavored lime juice; the object here is to enhance the beer, not burry it in an acid bath. To the lime juice add 2 dashes of bitters and a few drops of your favorite hot sauce. I suggest something less vinegary than Red Devil, Frank’s, etc. as drinking a big glass of vinegar appeals to few. I used a scotch bonnet sauce I like because it adds heat, but alters the flavor by very little. Valentina would be a nice authentic choice, or Cholula which is well balanced between flavor and spice. Pour beer over the lime/bitters/hot sauce and enjoy. The resulting elixir is a full bodied drink that satisfies nearly all the taste cravings and should leave a little sizzle in the throat and tingle on the lips. Remember this is meant to be refreshing, not excruciating so don’t go overboard.

Variations on the Theme:
While working out this final iteration I had a few other irons in the coals and found that these slight variations of the above recipe yield results just as satisfying, but not as bold. First, you can opt out of the spicy salt mix if you feel that’s too much, and for some it may be. Another option is to assemble as above leaving out the bitters until the end. Shake in a few dashes before serving, but don’t mix, allowing the bitters to mix in themselves as the beverage is consumed. Doing this let’s the michelada develop over time and each sip is different from the last. Again jumping off from the Ultima, before the beer is added pour in a splash of orange juice then add the beer to combine. The result is slightly sweeter, more of an aperitif than main course. Alternately add the OJ to the top of the glass at the end and allow it to mix in like the bitters. Unlike the bitters which form smokey trails through the michelada before they combine, the orange juice mixes and unifies much quicker. Either way, the orange juice in these iterations is more of a seasoning that full component so don’t use anymore of it than you’ve used lime juice.

These are just a few ways to jazz up your beer for your next fiesta, cookout, or regular old night of beer drinking. Use these recipes to impress your friends or invent your own and share them with me and the world!

Cheers!



Fresh Watermelon Juice:
Outside of squeezing citrus this may be the easiest juice to acquire at home. Purchase, or pick if you’re so inclined, the freshest watermelon available to you. I’m terrible at determining freshness so I opt for the precut. A good watermelon should have vibrant red/pink flesh that’s firm but yields to pressure. For this application seedless would be preferred, but a plethora of big brown seeds and a dearth of the little white ones is a sure sign of ripeness in the seed baring variety. Cut the watermelon into large-ish chunks, it doesn’t need to be fancy, and drop them into your blender or food processor. Let your machine work its magic for a minute or two then add more chunks until either the unit is full of juice or you’re out of melon. Pour the juice from your device into another vessel via a strainer. You’ll need to help it along by scraping the strainer with a spatula. This should remove most of the major pulp, but the liquid that remains will still have some texture, while this should be fine for most if you want it extra fine pour it through another finer strainer or one lined with a paper coffee filter. If it’s not already in one transfer this to an easy open storage container and refrigerate. I also added a few drops of lemon juice as a preservative. I got about 3 cups from just a quarter of a melon, so unless you’re planning a huge party this should be more than enough.

And if you’re wondering what to do with extra melon juice here are a few suggestions, other than just drinking it:
Into a blender pour one shot of coconut rum per 4oz of watermelon juice. Drop in a few ice cubes and pulse until mostly smooth. Pour into a highball and garnish with lime, watermelon slice, spring of mint.

For the more dessert minded take measure of your remaining melon juice, making sure you have around three cups. If not make some more, it seems to keep well. To the watermelon juice add a healthy squeeze of lemon and 6-8oz of pineapple juice to make about a quart of liquid. Chill well, then process in ice cream maker per your manufacturer's instructions.

A Very Liver Punisher New Year's

What better place to ring in the new year than a big exciting city, right? That’s exactly the reason Nicole and I headed to Chicago this New Year’s Eve. That and the Girl Talk concert. And the bars. Oh, and the food, too.

Having visited that windiest of cities—and believe me, it’s fucking windy there in late December—I’m well aware of the plethora of food and drink options available, so visiting as many as possible during the trip is of highest priority.

We arrived in Chicago around nine having dined on leftover Gallucci’s pizza in the car. Our first stop was a party a Sara’s apartment where guests had brought a variety of hors d’oeuvres; tastiest amongst them were sausage stuffed mushroom caps. A little spicy, a little cheesy, definitely meaty, and a very satisfying bite or two. After a drink or two, including a delicious Hendrick’s gin and tonic—if you have the opportunity to try Hendrick’s in a cocktail of your choosing, do it, it’s incredibly smooth and the juniper flavor is well matched by floral undertones—we departed by cab for the show.
http://www.hendricksgin.com/us/about/index.asp

Girl Talk at the Congress Theatre was a blast, starting about 11:30 we all danced and partied until he called it quits around 1:00 or 1:30am. The venue was great and a movie-set style house was built as a back drop, giving the whole shindig a house party feel. And what, you may ask, did we toast the new year with? Why that champagne of beers, Miller High-Life, of course!
http://congresschicago.com/index.php?section=1

Post show we left our fellow revelers and made for the Flat Iron, a bar a few train stops away. Best part about this was the free train fare on New Year’s Eve, thanks Chicago! Arriving at the Flat Iron around 2:30 we grabbed a few PBRs and found our fellow revelers from the first party. After a few late night rounds our hunger returned so Nicole and I, along with her friend Gavin, trekked what seemed like a million blocks in the cold and blowy Chicago weather for some of the tastiest Mexican food north of the border: Arturo’s. Regular readers of this blog will remember Arturo’s from our last journey to Chicago, but it’s so good it bears repeating.
http://tiny.cc/GGETC

Arturo’s in an unassuming little place, patrons seat themselves and may have to share some of the larger tables should the place become overly crowded, as it was at about 4am on New Year’s Eve/Day. Luckily we were able to find a table to ourselves in the back corner. Service was a little slow that evening, but it was completely filled and probably had been since earlier that evening so I can’t fault them for being delicious and busy as a result. Eventually we ordered and our food arrived, it was slow but well worth the wait. I ordered a taco barbacoa: tender, savory steamed beef (think Mexican pot roast); one taco al pastor: spit roasted, seasoned beef (the “Mexican Gyro”), and a quesadilla (not on the menu, but they seem happy to make it for you). Everything was so delicious and simple, there aren’t tons of layers of cheese or excessive amounts of lettuce and tomato, just the filler, some onion, and a bit of cilantro on a homemade corn tortilla (which I think is their secret). Sated and weary we wandered back into the cold and made for Gavin’s apartment, which was the closest crash pad.
http://www.arturos-tacos.com/

The next morning we needed to excise the bit of hangover still hanging around, so the three of us walked to the Silver Could. A simple bar and restaurant, Silver Cloud offers delicious breakfast options and a tasty lunch/dinner menu. Looking for something simple and homey, I ordered the breakfast sandwich. Two eggs over medium, cheddar, and bacon on whole wheat was just what the doctor ordered, and the few bites I had of Nicole’s Salmon Benedict were pretty amazing, too. I think a mark of a good restaurant is the quality of their Hollandaise sauce. As a long time not-fan of the warm yellowy topping I believe that if a restaurant can make a Hollandaise that I can not only eat but enjoy then it must be good. Plus a little smoked salmon never hurt nothing.
http://www.silvercloudchicago.com/

Refueled and ready for action we hiked back to Sara’s for showers, mimosas, and relaxation. Champagne, orange juice, and The Hangover helped ease our transition from afternoon into evening when, surprise-surprise it was time to eat again. During our afternoon of laziness more friends and visitors arrived picking at the previous evening’s leftovers but we hungered for something more than snacks. Our first choice was more south-of-the-border fare at a popular new place called Big Star. The smells were delicious and the rumors of the queso fundido dip had certainly sparked our interest but when we arrived they were no longer seating parties looking to dine in. We drank a Tecate, one of my favorite Mexican beers, while we weighed our options. Finally Nicole suggested Handle Bar so we braved the elements again.

(Author’s aside: I don’t think I can accurately describe just how horribly cold it was the entire time we were in Chicago. It was like six degrees out most of the time, and that was before the wind chill factor was calculated in. Suffice it to say, it was fucking cold.)

Anyways…

We made it to Handle Bar in one frozen piece hungry and excited to eat. Handle Bar, for my Cleveland readers, is kind of like having Tommy’s relocate to the Grog Shop, serving up delicious vegan, vegetarian, and seafood dishes in a punk atmosphere—we dined to the entirety of the Ramones’ eponymous debut and then a solid chunk of the Nugets collection. Despite our chilly exteriors we chose to warm our insides with a pint each of Three Floyds’ Pride & Joy. A “mild ale” according to their website, Pride & Joy as a wonderful floral nose with a nice hop punch up front and smooth citrusy finish. Much like Tommy’s, Handle Bar’s menu is pretty simple featuring lots of sandwiches. Having had little vegetable matter in us in the last 48 hours or so Nicole chose the Green Meanie: avocado, herbed goat cheese, spinach, sprouts, tomato, and honey mustard on whole grain bread. The tomato-less bite I had was delicious! Also feeling the need for green I chose the Grilled Tofu sandwich: spice rubbed tofu, spinach, sprouts, and avocado spread on wholegrain bread. The spice crust on the tofu was excellent and didn’t mind the hot sauce boost I gave it, this was completed by the creamy avocado spread, and all this soft palate food was counter pointed by the crisp greens. But, as good as the beer and sandwiches were the real star of the show that night was the smoked gouda mac-n-cheese. Oh. My. Fucking. God. This was one of the most delicious things I’ve ever been fortunate to put in my eat hole. Perfectly prepared the noodles were still a little al dente, the sauce was thick and creamy, and the smokiness of the Gouda provided excellent balance to the rich sauce it helped create. I’m going out on a limb here, but I’ll say it: best mac-n-cheese, ever.
http://handlebarchicago.com/

With beer and (mostly) healthy, (totally) delicious food to steel ourselves against the cold we journeyed out into the arctic winds once more. Our ultimate destination was Inner Town Pub where our friends were continuing the weekend’s festivities, but we had another stop to make along the way. I’ve been lucky to have Nicole with my on these last few trips to Chicago. Having lived there for several years she knows a lot more interesting places to eat and drink than I could ever hope to stumble on or Google search for. Her suggestion for a digestif was The Violet Hour. Stashed away in a relatively unmarked building on North Damen, Violet Hour seeks to recreate the atmosphere of prohibition era speakeasies. The serve sophisticated, classic cocktails sometimes with a modern twist in a sprawling, mostly candle lit dining room and bar, with booths and tables masked from one another by curtains and high backs. Adding to atmosphere and mystery, Violet Hour concocts a large portion of their drink components, going so far as to brew their own bitters and steep their own flavored liqueurs. What does this all mean? Amazing cocktails well worth the $12 price tag, served in a bar the likes of which are rarely seen these days. I ordered the Daisy 17, assembled thusly: Wild Turkey 101 Rye, lemon, house Grenadine, and house orange bitters. As a flourish before serving, the drink is also showered by flaming orange oil. Sha, and might I add Zam! Not only did this taste amazing, sweet from the grenadine, sour from the lemon, bitter from the bitters and rye; but it packs quite a whallop. Despite the mixers the Daisy 17 is still mostly rye, and 101 proof at that. Top three mixed drinks of all time? I’d say so. Nicole’s drink was equally complex and delicious, and though the name escapes me at the moment, it was along the lines of a dry Manhattan spiked with the Violet Hour’s house made coffee bitters. If you’re looking to impress that special someone on your next trip to Chicago, Violet Hour is a must, just be patient trying to find it.
http://www.theviolethour.com/

The Cadillacs of cocktails fueling our engines and stoking our furnaces we continued our icy walk to the Inner Town Pub. A dim, dirty, dive of a bar where I felt a little more comfortable, or certainly not under dressed, at the Inner Town. We found our friends and discussed the night’s adventures over pints of Pinhead Pale Ale. One of the lighter entries in the pale ale family, Pinhead is fully but not overwhelmingly hoppy, yielding floral and light citrus tastes from its bouquet. A great jumping off point for people interested in pale ales but wary of too much hops. Having lost track of time and arriving later in the evening we had time for only a beer before last call. It was at this point that a decision had to be made: continue the party elsewhere or call it a night. The call to party on was made. The new question was: where?
http://www.yelp.com/biz/innertown-pub-chicago

Because of our location and the time of night a few of us—Nicole, Maureen, Sara, and me—ventured on to The Continental. Another dive-y bar that keeps its doors open until 4am. Among the first of the late night crowd to arrive we had no problem ordering a few PBRs and finding a seat. Within a half-hour or so the place began to fill up with other folks looking to keep the night alive. We drank our beers and talked a while until the DJs started playing really fantastic music. Mostly obscure 60’s funk/soul/R&B so we all decided to get up and cut a rug. We danced and drank cheap beer until getting the boot at 4:00 when we finally decided to call it a night. Although in not-unreasonable walking distance, it was certainly no warmer at 4am that it had been at 2, midnight, or 10 so we were eternally grateful for the grouchy cab driver who picked us up.
http://tiny.cc/thecontinental

After a good night’s sleep we awoke with one last mission before leaving Chicago: best lunch ever. It was determined that the place offering best odds on this endeavor was the now infamous Kuma’s Corner. What had started out as a not-so-quiet little bar and restaurant has become the heavy metal hang out for hipsters, foodies, and families alike. However, our first attempt to dine in was foiled by the enormous line for tables, like 3 hours or so. We left, investigated some local vintage stores, and picked up Maureen before heading back to Kuma’s. This time we were, as they say, “in it to win it,” so we hunkered down for the 2-3 hour wait. The wait was interesting as we got to see the vast array of Kuma’s clientele. There were, of course, the requisite metal dudes sporting their favorite black tee shirts emblazoned with increasingly inscrutable metal fonts and gory imagery. There were also the cool kids, investigating some place that’s been recently recognized as “hip enough.” But the strangest groups of people waiting for tables were the families. Kuma’s décor is pretty minimal, simple tables and chairs, a nicely carved bar, fairly well lit, but the music was primarily metal and the art on the walls was comprised largely of prints of partially naked women in bondage gear, some covered in Technicolor-red blood. No skin off my back, really, but it did make me wonder what the parents of the tweens waiting for burgers were thinking when they noticed. Anyways, we waited and waited before finally deciding that a beer might help the waiting process so Nicole and I split a pint of Three Floyds’ Gumball Head, the brewery’s wheat beer offering that drinks like an ale. Gumball Head is less cloudy than most wheat beers and way hoppier, too, but the hops and the wheat balance out making for a seriously enjoyable brew with bitter-sweet citrus notes. Unfortunately Three Floyds doesn’t distribute here in Ohio but if you’re ever in the greater Chicago metropolitan area pick up a case or two! We continued waiting, and waiting and finally decided that the second hour of waiting deserved another beer, this round: Three Floyds’ Alpha King. An amber colored American pale ale, Alpha King was definitely the most intense of the Three Floyds beers I tried on this trip. Just a hint of malt on the tip of the tongue then it’s all hops. Bracingly bitter with a grapefruit finish and a kiss of pine aftertaste, perfection in a glass. And our wait wore on and on, we watched all sorts of people come and go, drooling over the amazing food that was being hurried past us but a wait staff that no doubt saw the hunger and desperation in our eyes. And then, finally, just as we began to give up hope they called our names.

Seated, we poured over the menu trying to figure what to eat and what we’d seen served during our wait. There was the mountainous Slayer a burger served atop a plate of fries and topped with anger! There were the pulled pork fries, barbequed pork and cheese draped atop Kuma’s waffle fries. And, of course, there was the build-your-own mac-n-cheese. So many options but only one stomach. It was agreed before we were seated that our repast would consist of, at least in part, the pulled pork fries. This was a great decision. The pork is perfectly slow-cooked and drenched in one of the best barbeque sauces I’ve ever tasted. Spicy and sweet like a good barbeque sauce should be, but there was something else to it that pushed it past good and way into great. What that was, though, I’m not sure. And as if amazing pulled pork and waffle fries weren’t enough the whole thing is topped with melted jack cheese! The cheese provides just enough saltiness to counterbalance the sweet (but not too sweet) barbeque sauce. This is a must for any/all visits to Kuma’s. Round two brought us Kuma’s famous customizable mac-n-cheese; we added bacon and caramelized onions. There have been some mighty high praises of Kuma’s mac-n-cheese sung on this blog, and make no mistake it is really good, but it still places second to Handle Bar’s smoked gouda variation. Bacon and caramelized onions were definitely good adds.

Finally, the reason we came. Round three arrived and we were not disappointed by the monstrous mounded before us. In my corner: Neurosis with cheddar, Swiss, caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, and horseradish mayo. Cooked a perfect medium, this burger is hearty and mouthwatering with the sweet onions providing counterpoint to the salty cheese, the mushrooms adding to the meatiness of the 10oz patty, and enough horseradish in the mayo to alert the sinuses. I chose well. Nicole chose the eponymous Kuma Burger. Topped with cheddar, bacon, and a fried egg it was our skipped breakfast and dinner all in one. It should also be noted that while we all know about the magic of bacon, Kuma’s bacon is in a league of its own, incredibly rich pork flavor and perfectly smoked; it should be a side dish. On the opposite side of the table Sara ordered the Kaijo topped with more of this amazing bacon, bleu cheese, and “frizzled” onions. Long, thin strands of fried onion, the frizzled onions were mounded on top her burger like some delicious bird’s nest. And finally Maureen tried the Plague Bringer. Kuma’s spicy burger, the Plague Bringer is Kuma’s 10oz burger topped with roasted garlic mayo, tortilla strips, Chicago CO-OP hot sauce, fresh garlic, pepper jack, and sliced jalapenos. According to her it was more than a little spicy, but judging by the looks of it the tongue pain was probably well worth it.
http://www.kumascorner.com/

And so it seemed the hype and fanfare and waiting was all worth it. Kuma’s is definitely a Chicago food destination whether you’re a metal fan or not. Although it wouldn’t hurt anything. With our bellies swelling past full and the check paid we braved the cold once more to retrieve Sara’s car before making the long journey back to Cleveland. And if the events of New Year’s Eve suggest things to come in the new year then this year, this decade even, are off to great starts!

And stay tuned! Coming soon: real actual pictures from the big New Year's trip!

iBurritos Muy Buenos!

My mom's birthday was yesterday so of course we had to take her out for dinner. Her choice: Lopez: http://www.lopezonlee.com/

It's a Mexican/Southwestern eatery so we started things off with the house chips and salsa, natch, but at Lopez these standard starters are better than most. The salsa is thick and sweet, with a generous portion of cilantro and just enough garlic to let you know it's there, but not over power your taste buds for the rest of the evening. And to wash it all down? Margaritas, of course! If you come to Lopez looking for that green slush they sling at most Mexican joints you've come to the wrong place. Lopez makes their Margaritas themselves the proper way, no overly acidic or too tart mixes here, and serves them on the rocks with a salted rim.

After a drink and some chips and some time to talk to the friends we'd invited it was business time. Like the chips and salsa and the Margaritas the menu at Lopez is a cut above your everyday Mexican fare, exploring the usual south-of-the-border items and expanding upon or deconstructing them. For example, taking off on the enchilada my mom's friend ordered the Mexican lasagna, filled with pulled chicken, chorizo, and spinach this lasagna subs in tortillas for the traditional noodles and oaxaca for the usual Italian blend. All this is held together by an amazing charred tomato sauce that would put your Italian grandma's to shame.

As for me, I opted for the Grilled Duck Burrito. I received a generously sized burrito filled pulled duck, sauteed mushrooms and spinach, and oazaca cheese. This was topped with a handful of colorful field greens and came sitting atop what Lopez calls "pineapple mojo," a salsa verde sweetened with pineapple. As delicious as it was filling, I happily polished off the other half for lunch this afternoon. The gaminess of the duck mixed with the richness of the mushrooms and cheese nicely, and all was complimented by the sweetness of the pineapple in the salsa and the bitterness of the spinach, the only thing this dish really needed was a boost on the Scoville scale. I know, I know, not all Mexican food is spicy, but damnit the stuff I like usually is.

While Lopez is easily in the top three Mexican restaurants I've ever been to, it's not an every-day-eatery--that means it's pricey--but a great celebration destination. Plus it's in a great neighborhood, just a block away from the Cedar-Lee Theater and all the great bars in that area, but, hey, you got good Margaritas you don't need to drink anywhere else.

My only complaint: no caipirinhas http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink2632.html

Next: The Thurman!

guacamole, variations on

It's thick, green, and creamy and chances are if you've ever had Mexican food, you've partaken of this versatile side. It's a garnish, a dip, a topping, a filler, and as easy to make as it is delicious. Of course I'm talking about guacamole.

MSN ran an article today offering up variations on this classic. And, as it's a perfect summer accompaniment, I thought I share the link.

Happy dipping!

http://www.delish.com/cooking-shows/food-tv/chef-guacamole-recipes?gt1=47010

Mission Impossible

I'm not much of a cook, but I love to fill different kinds of breads with various fillings. Mexican food appeals to me on this level. Burritos are quick and delicious, but not always easy. The perfect burrito relies pretty heavily on it's tortilla to keep it from being a salad of sorts. There's no way of telling what kind of tortilla is gonna support your burrito, or which kind is gonna sell it out in favor of feeling your fingers poke through it sensually. The Russian roulette of dinner time meals, nothing pisses me off faster than a weak ass flaky tortilla.

Which brings me to Mission Tortilla, the jerkiest of all store bought Mexican flatbreads. I've tried regular flour and multi grain, and both options have left me with nothing more than a fist full of rice, beans, and tofu chicken. If I wanted my hands covered in food, I would have actually cooked something, Mission Tortilla! I know you think you fooled me good, but the real joke's on you. Your fancy grocery store endcap also conveniently stocked with salsa is not gonna reel me in again. Trader Joe's brand is the same price and 100% better quality. I may have to drive farther to get them, but it is well worth it. You've ruined Cinco De Mayo for the last time. You and I are finished...right after I eat your last few pieces.