Saturday, June 27, 2009

x-treem foodz III: the wreckoning

I haven't posted in a while because of a vacation and family matters. I'm hoping to put together a food diary of my week in the capital soon, but in the meantime here is some more ridiculous food for you to ogle.

I originally heard about this on the Food Network's Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives but just recently remembered it.

Dubbed the Homewrecker and served at HillBilly Hot Dogs in West Virginia, this dog has it all, and then a little bit more. It all starts with a 15 inch hot dog, weighing in at about a pound, which is then deep fried. It is then topped with this laundry list of heartburn inducing condiments:

  • onions
  • peppers
  • nacho cheese
  • chili sauce
  • jalapenos
  • mustard
  • ketchup
  • coleslaw
  • tomatoes
  • lettuce
  • shredded cheese
  • a secret, homemade tomato based hot dog sauce

And in true extreme foods fashion if you can put one down in 12 minutes or less you will be handsomely rewarded with a tee shirt, a poor substitute for you dignity, but it's better than nothing!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


As promised, here are photos from my Memorial Day cookout (thanks Nick):

I made 1/3-pound burgers with sauteed onions, red bell peppers and celery mixed in the meat.

For the not meat-eaters, portabello mushroom caps marinated in balsamic vinegar and topped with the aforementioned onions, red peppers and celery, with a sprinkle of asiago cheese.

I'll claim it was for proper heat distribution, but I really just wanted to make a pentagram out of meat.

Don't call me "tater salad." I bite. (This particular potato salad is seasoned nicely with cayenne pepper to make the flavor explode on your tongue. That's what she said.)

Real Boston baked beans, made from scratch. Wicked delish.

Here's some of the other food that people made/brought. Those are Erin's fruit kabobs on the left: not sure why we didn't grill any of those. Those are Nick's Oatmeal Creme Starcrunch Pies in the front under glass. Holy heart attack...

If you were here, this plate might've been yours. Those peppers and onions on the dog and burger were fried in bacon grease for extra flavor...

The cook finally gets to eat. Hooray! Can't wait for the 4th of July to do it all over again.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Things to Look Forward To

Now, this isn't the awe inspiring debut I had been planning, but felt like I should post SOMETHING. For the next week or so, I'll be sequestered in Troy, Ohio, hot bed of all things exciting, house/pug-sitting for my parents. This has left me with an insane amount of free time. Odds are soon I'll have made my way through everything remotely interesting On Demand, and crippled my thumbs as a result of too much game boy. This will leave pleanty of time for WWEIL, SPD/GVNR, and the half dozen other things I've been meaning to work on.

Look for a full report from TROY...topice may produce co-ops, cooking adventures, and the delights of hamburgers cooked on a wet grill.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

11 Short Films About Pizza Making

I now unveil to you, my cooking video/You Tube debut. Me and the boyfriend attempt to make our own pizzas with delicious results. On an ability scale of 1 - 5, I'd rate this project at a 1, so easy a hamster could do it. Yes, there are 11 (!) video clips here. I know it looks like a lot to watch, but all in all it's like 15 minutes. I just don't have a video camera and had to use the capture feature on my camera which only takes video for like a minute and a half at a time. In addition, I'm not what you'd call steady handed, so if the Blair Witch Project gave you motion sickness, then, uh, I'd turn back if I were you. We are totz profesh here at WWEIL. So sit back and drink in my sweet how-to-idness...and then go make yourself an awesome, organic, veggie pizza!


Misleading Pizza Article from MSN

I got really excited when I opened Explorer this morning and saw a link to an article about the best and worst chain pizzas in the country. While I'd much rather nom on some local or regional fare, the big boys do it right most of the time and will definitely do in a pizza pinch. My love of criticism, food writing, and pizza combine forces and my interest was piqued to say the least.

However, I was immediately disappointed by the content. This wasn't an article about the best and worst tasting chain pizzas, rather an assessment of the healthiness of chain pizzas. Yawn. Pizza's deliciousness, like most foods, is in direct correlation to how bad it is for you--this is why the Spice Lover's pizza at Myles's is possibly the greatest pizza on the face of the earth--and there for the article is somewhat backwards.

Also *SPOILER ALERT* one of the best pizzas on this list, and by best I mean healthiest in this case, came from Domino's. This is really the only way Domino's will ever reach the top of pizza heap.

Anyways check out the article here and decide for yourself:

i want a range life: tour eatz pt. 1

i'll post full reports of the Kyle Sowashes trip south tomorrow on the way home in the car, but for now, here's a common rest stop snack conundrum:


Friday, June 12, 2009

breaking the fast

Food wise there are few things as perfectly simple as the sandwich and no meal tastier than breakfast. Ipso facto the breakfast sandwich is quite possibly the world’s perfect food.

My love for breakfast between bread started early on in life when my mom would take my brother and me to McDonald’s for breakfast some mornings before school. A sausage McMuffin with egg, hash browns, and hot cocoa was quite possibly the greatest thing my young pallet had ever wrapped itself around.

As nice a treat as this was I yearned for that goodness regularly until my mom started making homemade variations for my brother and me. Kicking things up a notch or two, mom constructed ours on bagels with real cheese and fresh cooked bacon.

As I learned to cook for myself more and more this was a dish a quickly added to my repertoire and one I have been tinkering with ever since.

Herein is my preparation method for the most currant, and so far favorite, permutation of the breakfast sandwich. Enjoy!

Frying pan, preferably non-stick
Toaster or toaster oven
Pan lubricant

One large egg
English muffin, split
1 slice or small hand full of cheese
Morningstar Farms breakfast patty
Salt and pepper

How to do it:
Start by heating your pan over medium-high heat (7 on our cook top), splitting the English muffin, get cheese from the fridge, assembling seasonings, and finding plates.
Once pan is reasonably hot spray liberally with non-stick cooking spray (if you’re using butter or oil add it while the pan is still cold)
Break one large egg into hot pan and season with salt, pepper, and any other herbs or spices you might be using.
Starting the toaster sometime now is a good idea so your bread is ready the same time your egg is, but use your judgment based on your toaster’s speed.
When the egg just begins to set break the yolk and scramble the white for a few seconds the reshape your egg to fit the bread.
Allow the egg to continue cooking this way for a minute or two, or until the sides set.
Once the egg is solidified enough to flip with out running all over the pan turn off the heat, flip the egg, and add your cheese.
After a minute or so in the hot pan on the burner remove the pan from heat. Residual heat from the pan will finish any cooking that needs to be done, melt the cheese, and prevent your egg from becoming too dry or firm.
Cook your breakfast patty in the microwave per the box’s instructions, 30 second per side I believe.
By the time the patty is cooked your cheese should be sufficiently melty, and your English muffin toasted, assemble, season to taste and enjoy!

A good seasoning combination I’ve been using a lot lately, in addition to the salt and pepper, is chipotle powder and some cayenne pepper. Smokey, spicy, and delicious!
I prefer cooking the breakfast patty in a skillet, it tastes a little better but takes much longer so I usually don’t.
I usually use non-stick cooking spray for convenience but if you use butter or oil sautéing some garlic in it is definitely a good thing.
If you love bacon—and I know you do!—fry up 2 pieces of bacon in your pan until they’re cooked slightly below the doneness you desire. Once they’ve reached this state remove them from the pan and cut into bite-sized pieces. Return the bacon to the pan and cook the egg as suggested above. Almost anything cooked in bacon drippings is immediately 10-to-15 times better!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

rival food sites

I was just informed of this website by a friend and thought I would share it with the What We Eat Is Laughable team and readers. I read through it for a bit and I really like it. The concept is great, the food looks delicious, it looks nice, and it's easy to navigate. Thanks Nicole!

simple, tasty breakfast

Breakfast may or may not be the most important meal of the day, but it's certainly the tastiest! I love the cuisine of breakfast almost completely across the board and unlike lunch and dinner breakfast is good anytime of day (save, of course, for cold pizza).

However, I must constantly reconcile my love of a.m. eats with my severe hatred of getting up too much before 10 or 11. What's a boy to do?

Anyways, I thought I'd share one of my favorite, and simplest, breakfast treats today: the honey nut English muffin!

For this application you will need:

  • 1 English muffin
  • butter or margarine
  • honey
  • about 1/3 cup of raw nuts, coarsely chopped (I like a mix of pecan, almonds and walnuts)
  • toaster oven
  • small piece of foil
  • split your muffin and place it in the toaster
  • chop nuts and place them in a small vessel made from folded foil (I like a square, play pen shaped device, but anything walled with an open top will do)
  • start your toaster!
  • after a few minutes toasting, about 2 on mine, but use your judgment based on knowledge of your own toaster, place the foil container of nuts in the toaster oven.
  • when the nuts just begin to smell toasty and take color remove them.
  • butter the English muffin, top with the toasted nuts, then drizzle honey over top
This is an amazing flavor combination, a little salty from the nuts and butter, sweetness and a touch of gaminess from the honey, and the texture of the toasty muffin and nuts is amazing. Plus it takes about four minutes to make with very little clean up!

If you don't have a toaster oven gently toast the nuts in a small skillet on your range over medium-low heat. Whatever heating implement you use keep an eye and nose on the nuts as they go from toasty and delicious to burnt-to-a-crisp in just a few moments due to their high oil content.


Sunday, June 7, 2009

mystery food

Here is the ingredient list for something you probably have in your kitchen somewhere. Based on this laundry list of food stuffs can you guess what it is?


Saturday, June 6, 2009

A Food Stuff I Can't Live Without

I've been told I'm kinda bland. Not so much in the personality department, more so in taste bud land. So what if my beverage of choice is water and I think salad tastes better plain? Just because I don't wanna mar my delicious tacos with some hot sauce doesn't make me a total square. I can be a fan of a condiment here and there. Chick patties taste great with some Veganiase, and I can't eat a soy riblet without a bit of plain yellow mustard. But if there is absolutely one condiment I can't live without, it's ketchup. I would pretty much drench anything in it if that was more socially acceptable. I feel like I'm already pushing the limits when I top off my entire breakfast plate with it (hashbrowns, eggs, toast, and soy sausages all taste better swimming in sweet sweet ketchup). But whatevs, it's cheap and basically counts a vegetable serving, right? In fact, maybe that's what I should start spicin' my leafy greens up with...yeah...

ridiculous eats, pt. two: electric vindaloo

In a never ending quest for strange and extreme--but still edible--foods I found this, um, treat: deep fried pizza!

Apparently this is quite the rage in Scotland, last bastion of the die hard fryer, and has since been imported to these United States by Scottish emigres hankering for a taste of home.
This particular variation is a slice of pepperoni, topped with a hand full of field greens, battered and fried. Tasty, no?
I swear the next one won't be pizza related.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

My doctor is a nerd

I had my initial visit with my new doctor today. For those of you who don't know me all that well, I kinda hate doctors and I kinda hate going to the doctor. It helps that I've been unreasonably healthy for the last ten years or so, especially since my habits are pretty much across the board unhealthy, possibly bordering on lethal. Anyway, about a month ago, I tore my rotator cuff and the urgent care doctor basically told me to "sack up." My new doctor basically told me that because of that other doctor, my arm is kinda fucked. I have to start physical therapy to regain my range of motion, which will be really fucking hard because over the last month the scar tissue in my shoulder has built up to a point where John McCain can hold his arms higher than I can.

All of that is fine. Totally fine. I can deal with that. Here's the problem: I'm fat.

My blood pressure is running a little high (stress + diet). I've put on a few pounds just over the last month because I'm pretty much completely sedentary - the little bit that I did exercise involved using my arms. I had a great plan to be active this summer that has pretty much been shot to hell. My doctor has basically told me to stop drinking and to eat better. I realize that's his job to be a buzzkill for my life, but I get more joy out of food than nearly anything else in life. I don't want to lose that. I'm not afraid of eating healthier. I'm afraid of not being allowed to enjoy the kinds of decadent, sinful foods that I really like.

So I'm going to have to replace sausages with chick peas. Biscuits with saltines. Pickles with cucumbers. Butter with canola oil. Cheese with nothing. WHAT KIND OF HELL ON EARTH IS THIS!!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Summer Drinkin'

I think it’s pretty safe to say that summer is the drinkingest time of year. Nice weather, holidays, camping, cook-outs, etc. they all lend themselves to delicious and refreshing libations, alcoholic and non. For the impending sunny season I thought I’d share a few of my favorites.


My favorite summer drink, and one of the easiest to make is iced tea. A large pot, a gallon of water, and ten tea bags are all you need. Of course black tea is traditional, but green is nice, too. Bring the water to a boil, remove from heat, add tea bags, allow to steep until cool enough to transfer to a storage container.

Try a combination of 3 ginger green tea bags, 3 jasmine green tea bags, and 4 regular green for a little spice.

A 3/3/4 ratio of Earl Grey, Constant Comment, and plain black tea is also delicious and refreshing. Try subbing 3 vanilla flavored black tea bags in for the Constant Comment for something a little lighter and smoother.

Want it sweet? A cup of sugar in your tea while it’s still warm does the trick, or if you like honey in your green tea about half a cup per gallon while it’s hot is perfectly sweet, but not over powering.

A little more time on your hands? In a clear—preferably glass—container add 10 bags to one gallon of water and let stand in the sun for the afternoon. Worried about the neighbors stealing your drinks? Make sure the seal is tight and leave this in your car while you’re at work all day. That scorching hot car finally pays off!

Aside from tea lemonade is there another great summer drink. While you can squeeze lemons until the juices run down your leg, I like to let someone else do the work. At your local county fair or other summer festivity there will likely be at least one lemonade stand where you can get your fill of the deliciously simple brew: half a lemon, juiced; store bought ice; water, from a hose; and about half a cup of sugar. Shake to combine using a cup stolen from a Pizza Hut and serve in a waxy paper cup. Few things are as delicious or refreshing as this remarkably simple citrus solution, and nothing beats gnawing on the sugary lemon half sitting on the bottom of the cup when you’re done!

Mit Booze:

Beer: Most breweries offer some summer seasonal brew or another. I’m going to do my best and report back on what I find, but so far my favorites for this year are the Great Lakes Brewing Company’s Grassroots Ale and Bell’s Oberon.

Liquor: My standby summer drink is something we invented back in my early days of college. Everyone had their own variation on it, this being mine. It is, as of now, un-named, if you have a suggestion let me know. It’s simple, sweet, and utterly refreshing while deceptively strong. Just a few should do you:
Fill a tall glass ¾ with ice
1 shot Peach Schnapps
1-2 shots vodka
Top with equal parts pineapple juice and Vernor’s
Use less vodka or none at all, for a weaker variation of this, and all measures are approximate, I’ve always just eyeballed this.

Summer is also a great time for margaritas, but the store bought mix is either painfully sour or sickeningly sweet and making them from scratch is a bit of a chore. To reconcile my desire for sweet, sweet tequila based beverages and my general laziness I’ve created my summer 2K9 drink of choice, I call it the “Ana-Lucia”:
Fill a rocks glass with ice
Add one shot good tequila, preferable golden
About 3oz. tonic water
A good squeeze of lime juice
Delicious and refreshing in about an eighth of the time!

Enjoy responsibly and all that, more drink recipes to follow!

Just like Mom used to have nightmares about...

My mom taught me how to make meatloaf. Everybody's mom's meatloaves are the best in the world, but my mom's is absolutely better than yours. And mine is better than my mom's. Sorry mom. I rarely have leftover meatloaf (because it's so amazing and modest), but here I was with 5 slices of delicious, delicious saucy meat and I had to pack a lunch for work today.

Enter the meatloaf sandwich. We start with 2 slices of over-sauced meatloaf on the bottom bun.

And spread on some poblano mashed potatoes on the top bun.

Squish the two together (you can add a piece of cheese to this if you really want to push it over the top). Sandwich fit for a philosopher king.

This is the kind of ridiculous food this blog was borne of. I even thought about resting some asparagus spears across the bottom, but no sir, that would've been just too much...

Ridiculous Eats

Luce's last post got me thinking about some ridiculous food item's I've seen around the internet. While I re-scour this series of tubes they call the webaverse I thought I'd share one of my favorites: the bacon-cheese pizza burger!

More information on this monstrous munchable can be found here:

Also, thanks to El T.B. for posting a picture of the pizza-with-tacos (not a taco pizza!). One of the best birthday presents Nick and I have ever received! (Courtesy of Sweet-P, of course!)

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