Things I Do When the Boyfriend Is Gone

I love to cut corners, especially when it comes to meals. I hate the longevity of prep, cooking, and then cleaning up. I usually try to cram all the steps together in some explosive way that I usually regret later. I make a hobby of this mostly when the live in boyfriend is out. He doesn't consider throwing salad dressing into the bag of mixed greens a viable option, and he's not impressed when I eat peanut butter straight from the jar for lunch. He's really into cooking whole, healthy, and delicious meals and then putting them on a plate. The plate part is important, it took me a year to get him to eat Chinese food out of the take out box with me.

I really love that he makes all the meals because a) it's very thoughtful and b) I don't have to do shit, except eat his wonderful cooking...giving me more time to write about, uh, food. See it's not that I don't want yummy meals, it's just difficult to make them when you live in Lazytown USA. So when he goes places and leaves me to my own devices I blithely do lots of lazy things around the kitchen that I know would make him cringe. I leave the fridge door open while I use stuff, I stick the same knife into multiple condiment jars, I eat things cold with out cooking them, I eat ice cream for dinner if we don't have food, and I stack dishes up on the floor in front of the couch after I eat off of them, that is if I even use a dish. I try to avoid that as much as possible. Recently I've indulged in just eating whatever right off the cutting board, why dirty more stuff?

Then if a dish is dirty, I try my hardest to get someone else to deal with it before I just pull it together and toss it in the sink.

I know, I'm a total maverick. And now, I'm off to eat hashbrowns and cereal for breakfast. Yes, I will be eating those shredded potatoes right out of the pan...