My doctor is a nerd

I had my initial visit with my new doctor today. For those of you who don't know me all that well, I kinda hate doctors and I kinda hate going to the doctor. It helps that I've been unreasonably healthy for the last ten years or so, especially since my habits are pretty much across the board unhealthy, possibly bordering on lethal. Anyway, about a month ago, I tore my rotator cuff and the urgent care doctor basically told me to "sack up." My new doctor basically told me that because of that other doctor, my arm is kinda fucked. I have to start physical therapy to regain my range of motion, which will be really fucking hard because over the last month the scar tissue in my shoulder has built up to a point where John McCain can hold his arms higher than I can.

All of that is fine. Totally fine. I can deal with that. Here's the problem: I'm fat.

My blood pressure is running a little high (stress + diet). I've put on a few pounds just over the last month because I'm pretty much completely sedentary - the little bit that I did exercise involved using my arms. I had a great plan to be active this summer that has pretty much been shot to hell. My doctor has basically told me to stop drinking and to eat better. I realize that's his job to be a buzzkill for my life, but I get more joy out of food than nearly anything else in life. I don't want to lose that. I'm not afraid of eating healthier. I'm afraid of not being allowed to enjoy the kinds of decadent, sinful foods that I really like.

So I'm going to have to replace sausages with chick peas. Biscuits with saltines. Pickles with cucumbers. Butter with canola oil. Cheese with nothing. WHAT KIND OF HELL ON EARTH IS THIS!!!