The Fracas Affair

Fracas, an American Gastro-Pub, is the latest addition to Cleveland’s ever expanding restaurant roster. Opening late last year in the Centrum Theater at the corner of Coventry and Euclid Heights Boulevard, I’d been curious about before it even opened due to its Gabbo-like hype campaign. A hand painted sign reading “Fracas” first appeared on the awning buttressed by the Dog House and Chipotle. Later a sign in the window declared that it “[was] Coming.” Eventually the signage disclosed that Fracas was going to be a restaurant around the same time I started seeing ads in Scene, Cleveland’s free weekly. So my curiosity had been piqued already when I noticed that the print ads Fracas was running were declaring it “The Best New Restaurant in Cleveland!” A rather bold statement, I thought; a challenge even. And so with little hesitation I agreed to accompany Nicole to this new spot for dinner this past Tuesday.

Luckily Fracas is only a few blocks from either of our apartments so braving the latest storm-of-the-century-of-the-week was little problem. We entered the front doors of the old Centrum building to find the hostess sitting behind the disused ticket counter. She quickly escorted us down the hall and into one of the theaters. With no real way of knowing from the outside, I was slightly shocked to find that Fracas is massive. With a 3 or 4 story high ceiling and taking up almost all of the theater’s former seating area, Fracas has the potential to accommodate some large crowds, throngs, even. A huge peninsula of a bar juts through the middle of the dining room, adorned with fifteen taps. Surrounded by several dozen high stools, the bar alone seats more than some restaurants in the area.

It seems we were the first to arrive, and being the only two guests in this cavernous space was a little strange, but the staff on hand was amazingly friendly so the slightly uncomfortable feeling was quickly assuaged. Glancing through the drink and food menus I was relieved to find the drink menu was notably larger than the food. While I appreciate options at restaurants I feel, sometimes, that a menu too large spreads the quality too thin, at least when it comes to food. A competent bar tender should be able to master a laundry list of libations, but too much variety in the kitchen can compromise quality even in the strongest kitchens. Making a final choice was tough, so we just picked drinks first. I went local with an Old 21 Imperial IPA from Strongsville’s Brew Kettle. A rich, gold/blond colored ale with a touch of head and decent lacing, Old 21 is packed with citrusy hops, mostly grapefruit with a hint of orange and pine, and a pleasant bitter-malt aftertaste that borders the taste profile of some barley wines. Nicole chose Stone’s Levitation, an American amber ale with a strong hop presence but without the heft of a lot of Stone’s other offerings. Similar to Arrogant Bastard, but it’s possible to drink more than one or two Levitations in an evening if inclined.

With drink orders in we were still uncertain of our food choices so we selected an appetizer from the simple but well appointed offerings. House made potato chips with bacon onion dip was the final call, although the calamari, shell fish, and pretzels also sounded promising. The chips were solid, but not the best homemade chips I’ve ever had, they either needed to be dried more thoroughly pre-fry or drained better post-fry. Either way a fair few were greasy and limp and still tasting of fryer oil, the successful chips were wonderful. But the real star of this opening act was the dip, taking rich, decadent onion dip, always a favorite, and ratcheting up the deliciousness with bacon was inspired. The sweet/saltiness of the bacon balanced out the creaminess of the dip base, while the pork fat partnered with the mayo and sour cream for a ménage trois of artery wrecking flavor.

Our minds now slightly relieved of order anxiety we were finally able to place entrée orders. I selected the angus burger under the belief that most restaurants can be reasonably judged based on the execution of their burger. Nicole chose excellent sounding gnocchi. On such a slow night orders arrived quickly and we were able to dive right in. My burger, ordered somewhere south of medium and north of medium-rare, was cooked perfectly, solid seer on the outside, equally pink and brown in, allowing for the maximum flavor combination of meat and heat. And, man, was it meaty! Like beef on ten, just a few nibbles of meat this good could convert most of PETA. Topped with caramelized onions in Port reduction, apple wood bacon, and smoked Gouda, Fracas could almost be accused of gilding the lily with this dish. Luckily all the ingredients married so well that it was like devouring a four part harmony between grilled brioche. For my side I picked the fries (the other option being the chips, but we’d already ordered those), which were obviously cut fresh and delicious, if a little soft on the outside. Nicole’s gnocchi was also excellent. Locally made Ohio City black pepper gnocchi came swimming in a smoked gouda Alfredo and accompanied by wild mushrooms, leeks, English peas, and grape tomatoes; as rich, hearty, and delicious as it sounds. My main concern when I saw the menu entry for it was that the gouda Alfredo would overwhelm the rest of the dish, but it was elegantly subtle, offering a rich smokiness on the back end of the palette, while allowing the rest of the swimmers room to shine. The meaty wild shrooms were the co-stars of this picture while the leeks provided some much needed onion-y high notes in this sumptuous affair, and the tomatoes and peas provided color and texture contrasts. An absolutely delicious but extraordinarily filling dish.

We agreed that our first experience with this new restaurant was great and warranted another visit in the near future, possibly for the fish and chips, meatloaf, or risotto. Or maybe just to try the intriguing beer-amisu from the dessert menu. Maybe not the best restaurant in Cleveland, Fracas is definitely a welcome addition and well worth a stop.

Hamburger a la Steak au Poivre with Pommes Frites

I’d had this idea swimming around in my head for a while. I’m wasn't entirely sure where it came from at first, but for some reason I wanted to make really delicious hamburgers, cooked in a skillet and then set ablaze in a display of alcoholic pyrotechnics.

I’d been thinking about this and thinking about this for weeks when it finally dawned on me where this spark of inspiration had come from: an episode of Good Eats titled “Tender is the Loin” in which Alton discusses the buying, butchering, and preparation of beef loin. The final flourish in this episode is the production of steak au poivre, a French dish that is as elegant as it is simple. This would be my jumping off point.

The creation of my dish was rooted in the steak’s: a filet cut of the tenderloin, crusted with crushed black peppercorns, and seared in a buttery skillet. Once the steaks are cooked the pan is deglazed with a flambé of brandy and enriched with heavy cream. Once the brandy cream pan sauce has thickened and reduced the steaks are returned to pan and tossed in the cream before serving.

So simple, but so delicious looking. I’ve honestly watched that episode a dozen times or so and every time I see it I want to find the nearest all night grocery store, grab the few ingredients needed and whip up a couple late night steaks. The fact there are no all night liquor stores within hours of me is all that’s kept this from happening. And of course I’d kind of forgotten about this idea for a while, being away from cable and all, but this idea was reignited recently when I purchased a bottle of Christian Brothers brandy a few weeks ago to make sangria (http://whatweeatislaughable.blogspot.com/2010/07/south-of-border-con-el-castigador-del.html).

The stars were starting to align and I began concocting a menu in my head. The centerpiece would be burgers cooked in the vein of steak au poivre, but what would come with? Well, what goes best with burgers always and forever? The ketchup to its mustard? The peanut butter to its jelly? The Tango to its Cash? The Harley Davidson to its Marlboro Man? Fries, natch. But these were going to be “fancy” burgers so I needed "fancy" fries, too, or rather pommes frites. Keeping things in this bullshit bistro vein I decided to concoct some interesting sauces for the fries as well, a homemade garlic aioli and a spicy cheese sauce. Now I just needed someone to share all this with, so I invited some of the best company I know: Nicole.

The menu set I scanned the kitchen and made a shopping list, thankfully my family keeps a relatively well stocked kitchen and I only needed a few items. A short trip to the store later and I was ready. Feel free to play the home version with these recipes:

Fancy-pants Steak Au Poivre Burgers:

Ingredients:
Equal quantities of ground chuck and sirloin equaling at least ½ pound
Salt (preferably Kosher)
Whole peppercorns (at least a teaspoon)
Butter
Olive oil
1/3 cup brandy or Cognac plus 1 teaspoon (reserved)
Heavy cream

How-to:
Mix both the chuck and sirloin until they are well combined then form them into ¼ pound patties (about 3¾” diameter and ½” thick if you don’t have a kitchen scale). Liberally salt both sides with the kosher salt. Coarsely crush the peppercorns, I smashed them between a heavy, cast iron skillet and a cutting board, then press both sides of the burger into the crushed pepper ensuring a complete and even crust on all sides. If you are ready to cook allow the burgers to rest, otherwise refrigerate, but allow between half and hour and an hour for the burgers to rest at room temperature before cooking. When ready to cook combine the butter and olive oil in a medium skillet over medium heat and allow them to melt and combine until they shimmer. Once the oil/butter combo is ready carefully place burgers into the skillet. Allow them time to sear the surface before flipping. Flip once and continue cooking. Cook until desired doneness is achieved, between 145* F and 160* F for medium-rare or medium, respectively. Remove burgers from pan and place on a plate tented with foil to rest. Drain any remaining fat or juices but do not scrape the pan. Carefully pour the 1/3 cup of brandy into the pan and ignite with a long match or grill lighter (if you are cooking on a gas stove turn off gas before attempting this). Allow the brandy to flame until it puts itself out. Pour in the heavy cream and stir the mixture, scraping all the tasty charred bits off the bottom of the pan. Allow the brandy/cream mixture to come to a boil and slightly reduce until it coats the back of a spoon. Season with salt and pepper to taste and stir in the reserved brandy. Replace the burgers in the pan and coat with the sauce. Serve.


Next were the pommes frites. I’ve been somewhat obsessed with making and eating the perfect fry since reading Jeffery Steingarten’s Vogue article about the finest points of making fries (apparently the secret ingredient is horse lard!) and was excited to try it at home. Since I was going to have a lot of other cooking going on I opted for a variation of a Joel Robuchon recipe I’d read about. Where a lot of recipes for frites have you double fry the potatoes, first at a lower temp to cook the insides then at a higher to crisp the outside, this recipe boasted the ability to do both with the minimum of work.

Super Simple Pommes Frites:

Ingredients:
1¼ - 1½ pounds of good Idaho boiling potatoes
1 quart peanut oil
Salt

How To:
Cut your potatoes into strips about 3/8” square, making sure they are all as even as possible. Pat dry then place potato strips in a large pot, at least 4” deep and 10” wide. Pour in oil to just cover potatoes and attach fry thermometer to side of pot making sure it is not touching the bottom. Heat pot and contents on high. Around 200* F the oil will begin to gently bubble. Continue to cook and heat until the oil reaches 350* F. Once the oil reaches 350* turn off heat and scoop fries onto a draining rig. Season with salt just before serving.


Delicious, crispy fries are a thing of beauty, certainly, but even the best fries need some accoutrement as they are, after all, just potatoes. Taking a nod from the Belgians, the originators of the fried potato thank you very much, I decided aioli would be a nice dipping sauce. And since this meal had one foot planted firmly in European cuisine and another in American diner culture, I figured this whole thing needed a little cheese, too.

Garlic Aioli and Spicy Cheese Sauce:

Aioli Ingredients:
3 cloves garlic
1 large egg
1 tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon juice
½ teaspoon salt
Black pepper to taste
Fresh chopped parsley (optional)
½ cup olive oil

What to do with it all:
In a food processor, blender, or mixing bowl combine all ingredients except the oil. Once the rest of the ingredients are well combined, slowly drizzle in the oil until a thick, uniform texture is achieved. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Cheese Sauce Ingredients:
¼ cup butter (1/2 stick)
¼ cup flour
1½ cups milk
8oz. shredded cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
Cayenne pepper (optional)
½ Jalapeno seeded, de-ribbed, and minced extra fine (optional)

Do it:
In a medium sauce pan over medium heat melt the butter. If you’re using the jalapeno now would be a good time to add it, allowing its oils to infuse the butter and everything else that will be added to sauce. Once the butter is melted whisk in the flour and keep stirring. This is called rue and is the base of this and countless other sauces. Keep stirring the rue until in takes on a nutty brown color (it’s actually ready as soon as all the flour is incorporated into the butter, but needs to be cooked longer to toast out the taste of the flour). Once the rue is cooked mix in the milk a little at a time, keeping it constantly moving. After all the milk has been incorporated stir in small handfuls of cheese a bit at a time. It’s tempting to add it all at once but that will create a lumpy mess not smooth, cheesy goodness. Once all the cheese is mixed in taste the sauce and season with salt, pepper, and cayenne to taste.


Notes and Adjustments:

One small adjustment I made to burgers was the addition of a few veggies. I decided that just the burger and cream sauce on a bun would be too simple. After the burgers were done cooking I placed a quarter of a chopped onion in the renderings with a little extra butter. I let these cook for a few minutes until they started to take some color at the edges. Once they started to caramelize I added several chopped mushrooms to the pan as well and let them sauté. Once the mushrooms were just shy of being done I added the brandy for the flambé, allowing them both to continue cooking and take in some of the brandy.

I somehow got all the timing right on these and everything finished more or less at the same time. Taste wise everything was fine, but there were a few things I thought could’ve been better. First, the buns. I originally wanted these served on a sweeter roll of some sort, like a brioche or challah, unfortunately I could find no such rolls, the whole wheat rolls I had were fine, just not what I had intended. The burgers were, to my taste, a little over done, in the medium-well range, but I didn’t trust my instincts and instead went by thermometer. I also forgot that burgers, thought flat when they begin to cook will seize slightly and form a more meatball-like shape. This is combated by making a slight indentation in the center of the meat just prior to cooking; if the burgers are pinched right they will even out perfectly during cooking. The aioli recipe, courtesy of Emeril, was a little thinner than I had hopped. I chalk this up in part to the use of smaller eggs from a local farm instead of the giant dino-eggs from the grocery store. I’d maybe use a more neutral flavored oil than the extra virgin I had, too. While delicious, the extra virgin almost overpowered the garlic. Almost. Despite minor consistency issues it was a wholly delicious side, rich and fatty and garlicky and lemony. A great summer sauce, a solid base for a salad dressing, and likely a great egg topper; and I’m not really a fan of mayos. The cheese sauce was the only thing that turned out as expected, maybe a little less spicy than I hoped, but the flavor and consistency were great. It just made a lot. Like a lot, a lot. Luckily it was delicious. The fries were the big stumbling block. I’m not sure how much credence I put into this simplified version of the recipe. The fries seemed to cook too fast and were overly browned when I pulled them around 330* F. Maybe it was the stovetop, maybe I didn’t have the thermometer placed correctly, maybe this recipe is too good to be true. Probably a little of all three. The fries did, however, taste pretty great, with a nice crispy outside and a soft, flakey inside. I will admit that my knife skills, especially when it comes to potatoes, is lacking so if I am to continue practicing the dark arts of the fryer I’m going to invest in a fry slicer.

We washed all this down with a few beers, Corsendonk brown ale and Henniger pilsner. The Henniger is a crisp, refreshing, easy drinking German lager. It tastes exactly like the phrase “German lager” would suggest, but not as bitter as most, with a very subtle citrusy finish. The Corsendonk, an abbey brown ale, was at a different end of the spectrum from the Henninger. Its dark brown color and yeasty/malty taste bore aftertastes of robust fruits and artisianal breads. While the former was an excellent counterpoint to the rich, fatty repast we enjoyed, the Corsendonk was a wonderful, robust complement.

I’m pretty proud of how all this turned out, despite a few minor hiccups. But I didn’t burn the house down setting the brandy ablaze and I didn’t start a grease fire either. I didn’t burn myself, cut myself, or touch my eye after chopping the jalapeno. I feel totally confident in repeating the performance with few to no goofs. So, anyone want dinner?


Post Script:
I had a fair amount of the aioli left after dinner, after discussing its future uses with Nicole, we determined that it would make an “egg-celent” topping on eggs. So, for dinner last night I poached two eggs—pretty well for my first try at it, too, I may add—and split an English muffin. Before popping the muffin halves in the toaster I sprinkled them with a chiffonade of fresh basil and some asiago cheese. When the eggs were solid enough to scoop from their water bath I placed them on the two toasty muffins with their toasty cheese and warm, fragrant basil. I poured about a tablespoon and a half of the aioli—which has married and mellowed over the last few days and is amazing now—over the eggs, seasoned with a little salt and pepper, and tucked in. Sha-Zam! Tender, yolky eggs; rich, garlicky, fatty aioli; toasty, nutty cheese; just the right hint of the basil in the background, and all those crackling good nooks and crannies golden brown in the middle, just slightly charred on the edges. Perfection. A wonderful dinner with some medium dry white wine or a Hoegaarden, or an amazing brunch with a mimosa or two. The only thing I would add to this if I had it around would be a few thin slices of prosciutto under the egg and/or pancetta fried crisp and sprinkled over the top. Or keep it veggie with a big slab of fresh heirloom tomato!

Pork Burger Dinner Party!

As part of what we hope becomes a monthly-or-so occurrence, and as repayment for such a delightful dinner, Nicole and I made dinner for Norm and Katie a few weeks ago. The food was delicious, the drinks refreshing, and the company out of this world.

The menu was simple: sage and rosemary pork burgers, apple slaw, and sweet potato fries with grown up Californias to wash it all down. Simple, but delicious twists on the ever classic burger-n-fry combo.

Here’s how it all comes together:

Before any cooking can get underway, it’s important to stoke the fires of creativity and hunger with a cool refreshing cocktail. Katie and Norm brought the mixings to make an adult variation on the popular Swenson’s libation known as the California. Swenson’s, a popular Akron-area drive-in burger chain makes theirs out of ginger ale, grape juice, and a lemon wedge. We made ours like this:
Fill a highball glass with ice, pour in 1½-2oz of grape vodka (they brought Skyy). Fill remainder of glass with ginger ale and garnish with a slice of lemon.

This is basically a fun, fruity take on a buck or mule, the classic combination of liquor, ginger ale, and citrus. While the grape flavor dominates the concoction, the spicy hints of ginger and the tart bite of the lemon bring balance and depth to the drink. The perfect sipper when standing around a hot grill.

As a side dish we whipped up some “perfect oven sweet potato fries.” I’ve tried similar recipes to this before but this time they actually turned out the way I hoped they would. We started with 2 medium-large sized sweet potatoes which I skinned and chopped into even sized pieces. Or at least as even as I could. I then arranged the potato bits on a cookie sheet and drizzled olive oil over them and tossed to coat all sides. Once they were sufficiently coated I seasoned them with salt and pepper. All set and ready to go I placed them in an oven pre-heated to 450. The baked for 15 minutes the first time before being removed, flipped and baked again for about seven minutes. The recipe called for a 15 then ten minute term in the oven, but after the first 15 things were well on their way so we shortened the second cook time to prevent total charification. The finished product was slightly overdone in a few spots but basically yielded fries that were crisp and toasty on the outside, soft and sweet on the inside. About as good as they get without a deep fryer. We served these with sriracha and a sauce of Nicole’s invention made from sour cream, cinnamon, and brown sugar. Sweet and spicy with that excellent acrid funk from the sour cream, this was the perfect dip for these fried beauties.

The main course came courtesy of a recipe Nicole found in Self magazine. Pork burgers seasoned with thyme and sage, topped with spinach, chive “mayo,” and apple slaw sounded great on paper, seemed easy enough, too, but could we pull it off at home? Totally. Everything was easy to find and assemble, but the results were far beyond anything we expected.

For the burgers: combine ½ pound each of lean ground beef and pork with a tablespoon of chopped fresh rosemary and a tablespoon of sage, also chopped fresh, and season with a healthy pinch of salt (about ¼ teaspoon). Since we were feeding five of us and two members of the dining party have removed beef from their diet we subbed more pork in for the beef and doubled all ingredients. This yielded 6 1/3 pound burgers that cooked for about 15 minutes total over both direct and indirect heat.

For the “mayo”: combine 2 tablespoons of chopped, fresh chives with ½ cup of low- or non-fat sour cream. Season liberally with salt and pepper, stirring to combine.

For the slaw: peel and core 3 firm, ripe green apples, ours were Granny Smith. Grate the apples on the widest side of a box grater. Place apples in a bowl and dress with olive oil, 2 teaspoons; lemon juice, 1 teaspoon; and salt, another healthy pinch or two in the ¼ teaspoon neighborhood. Toss ingredients to combine and let sit for flavors to marry.

Once the burgers are finished place them on buns and top with the slaw, “mayo,” and plenty of spinach. Serve with fries and icy cold Californias for a great evening meal.

I managed to cook the burgers perfectly, I’d alternately over and under done things the last few times I’d manned the grill, but this was the confidence boost I needed to get back behind the flipper. Well seared and marked on the outside, just lightly pink, hot, and juicy on the inside. The sage/rosemary combination added muscle and earthiness to the sweet pig flesh and played well with the excellent smokey grill taste. The tangy bite of chives and sour cream added some fattiness to the dish and accompanied the sweet/sour dynamic of the apple slaw perfectly. While the delicate taste of the spinach was all but lost in this complex, flavorful burger, the texture of the crisp green leaves was exactly what this otherwise soft palate meal needed.

It’s unfortunately rare to create something so perfect in the comfort of one’s own swelteringly hot kitchen, but when it happens, especially in the company of friends, it’s truly one of life’s greatest pleasures.

http://www.self.com/fooddiet/recipes/2004/12/rosemary-sage-burgers
http://www.instructables.com/id/Perfect-Oven-Sweet-Potato-Fries/
http://www.swensonsdriveins.com/default.asp

Quick and Easy Homemade Black Bean Burgers

Nicole and I were looking for a quick, easy, and generally healthy meal a few nights ago. We had missed our chance to hit up a restaurant and the grocery store across the street was closed so we were left with few options other than what was in the cupboard. While wracking our brains I suddenly remembered a super easy and totally delicious recipe for homemade black bean burgers that can more than likely be made with what’s in your pantry right now. After a quick double check of the recipe on the internet this is what we made:

Ingredients:
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
½ cup bread crumbs
½ onion
½ pepper
3 cloves of garlic
1 egg
Cayenne pepper or chili powder, to taste
Cumin, to taste
Hot sauce to taste

Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 375* or begin heating grill. Place onion, pepper, and garlic in a food processor, process until smooth, set aside. In a small mixing bowl combine egg, cayenne, cumin, and hot sauce, set aside. Pour beans into medium sized bowl and mash with a large fork until mostly uniformly creamy (a few whole beans or bean parts are fine). Mix in egg and spice mixture. Mix in onion/pepper/garlic mixture. Fold in bread crumbs a little at a time; until mixture become firm and workable by hand (you may not need the full ½ cup of crumbs). Divide mixture into 4 parts and shape into patties. Place on baking sheet and bake at 375* for 10 minutes per side, a properly heated grill should only take 3-5 minutes per side.

From here you have a slightly southwestern flavored blank canvass to work on, top it with guacamole, salsa, cheese, jalapenos, barbeque sauce, or anything else you desire. Or you could alter the base flavor of the burger by subbing out the hot sauce, cayenne, and cumin for other herbs and spices. With a little basil, oregano, a squeeze of tomato paste, and a sprinkle of parmesan you’ve got an Italian black bean burger that could be topped with a little marinara and sautéed mushrooms. The sky is literally the limit; anything you can do to a meat burger can be done to these. When we made these the other night we didn’t have the onion or pepper so we left them out and instead folded in some diced mushrooms both for taste and texture and dressed them with spinach, satium mustard, and horseradish. Or how about some sautéed onions and Swiss on rye for a black bean Patty Melt? Plus these are already completely vegetarian friendly, but could easily be made vegan by leaving out the egg completely or mixing in one egg’s worth of egg replacer (I stand by Enner-G in these matters).

These burgers were simple to make, delicious, filling, and require nothing strange or unusual. Oven time make take a few minutes but while they’re in there you’ll have more than enough time to wash up the few dishes this soils and crack open another beer or let that bottle of red start to breathe. Enjoy!

Reuntied And It Feels So Good!

My old college roommate, Aaron, came back to Ohio for a visit this past weekend so naturally we had to celebrate by eating and drinking too much. Just like old times!

We met up Sunday night at the Cuyahoga County Airport where his younger brother, Tim, is a flight instructor. Tim was nice enough to take us, along with our friend Nick, up in a single prop, four seat plane for a sundown buzzing of the North Coast. We flew over Geauga County to look for my parents’ house and then out over the lake for a view of Cleveland few have seen. It was a beautiful evening and my first time in a plane so small, but the turbulence and stalls from the tiny air-machine were enough to unsettle even this roller coaster vet’s insides. All concurred on this point and it was decided that the only cure was beer and food. A short deliberation and the fact that even thought it was Sunday night there was still an hour wait at Melt (yeah, I told you it was that good) sent us to Lakewood’s Buckeye Beer Engine.

Affiliated with the Buckeye Brewing Company, the Beer Engine is a comfy little spot to grab any number of delicious beers, both from Buckeye and abroad, as well as chow on some seriously tasty bar food. And since Buckeye offers weekly and monthly specials every visit is new and exciting. For example March’s Ridiculously Huge Burger of the Month is the so-called O’Fatty Melt. Where the Beer Engine’s Fatty Melt nestles one of their ½ pound burgers between two grilled cheese sandwiches, the O’Fatty swaps out the grilled cheese for two (that’s right, 2) grilled Rubens! Seriously.

Anywhoozle, I’ve supped there a few times and have tried a couple of the Beer Engine’s delicious burgers, so I thought I’d go for something new this time. Well, a new burger at least. On this visit I opted for the Tuscan. Building on the ½ pound burger base the Tuscan is topped by herbed goat cheese, caramelized onions in balsamic reduction, roasted red peppers, and bacon (natch). Not being a fan of the texture of peppers I opted out of those, but it was fine since the rest of the burger was so flavorful. The ground meat blend the Beer Engine is extremely flavorful and benefits from not being cooked past medium. The bacon is, well, it’s bacon. And bacon is always good and beloved by all (even vegans) but unlike Cedar Lee Pub & Grill or Kuma’s Corner, BBE’s bacon is pretty standard; thick cut and flavorful for sure, but nothing amazing or out of the ordinary. The real stars of this show are the cheese and onions. The buttery, gamey zing of the goat cheese was the perfect foil to the sweet-n-sour onions ensuring that the Tuscan tagged three out of four taste buds with flavor graffiti that simply said “Awesome!” (4 of 5 if you’re the type to count “umami.”)

And at a place called the Beer Engine there was certainly beer being drunk, right? You bet there was! Round one I went up against Southern Tier’s Backburner 2010, the brewery’s latest entry in their annual Barley Wine run. With 10% ABV and a metric buttload of hops and malt, Backburner is a pretty serious brew, but certainly one of the most even keeled Barley Wines I’ve ever sampled. Most are so crammed with hops that they taste of grapefruits lost in pine forests (definitely a good thing), but this particular iteration falls more into the malty/caramel-y camp. In the second round I took on Buckeye’s own Beaucoup D’Houblon. A double IPA with saison tendencies, this ultra hoppy beer (115 IBUs) combines fruity esters and grassy/hay flavors to create a flavor profile similar to that of bubblegum! Not at all what I would expect a beer to taste like and I was certainly skeptical of the draught list that said as much, but there it was. Amazing hops burst, followed by grass and fruits, with an aftertaste that suggests a few hours old piece of original Bubble-Yum; delicious!
http://buckeyebeerengine.com/

Day two of this reunion was carried on at Fat Head’s Brewery and Saloon on Monday night, this time we were accompanied by Nick’s wife Melanie as well as Nicole. Fat Head’s is a Pennsylvania based brew pub that opened a branch in North Olmstead in the past few years. Fat Head’s boasts a roster of 10 beers brewed on rotation or based on season as well as offering dozens of other choice micro brews. March is, apparently, “Head Strong Month” at Fat Head, offering up “40+ extreme beers.” This means Fat Head’s guest beers, as well as a few of their own brews, are offering higher ABVs and IBUs, read as: beers not for the faint of heart. I started the evening off with a pour of Fat Head’s own Hop Juju Imperial IPA. Clocking in at 100 IBU and 9.3% this was a seriously delicious draught. Lots of citrusy hops and just the right hint of malt made this go down quicker and smoother than it should have. To chase it I moved over to the guest list for a Brooklyn Blast Imperial IPA (8.2% ABV). Another hopped up offering that drinks like the Brooklyn East India Pale Ale turned up to ten. It’s initially grapefruit city, then briefly detours into floral town, before swerving into a piney rest stop; like gin and grapefruit juice, only much, much better.

While most of the beers at Fat Head are big and flavorful, the “Fat” in the name comes from the food menu. There is nothing small or restrained about the menu, each appetizer, sandwich, and burger is bigger and meaner than the last. Having gorged on burger the night prior I skipped over that delicious and inimitable section in favor of the “Headwiches.” But with so many options I was completely stuck for what to get. My first thought was the “Bay of Pigs,” a mammoth take on the Cuban sandwich. Or maybe the “Head Banger,” a sandwich-ized take on the pub classic bangers and mash. Ultimately I picked the “South Side Slopes” for a variety of reasons—most of which were between the buns—but also because it was picked as one of the Best Sandwiches in the USA by that paragon of journalistic integrity: Maxim Magazine. I had to know if they were right or not. But before judgment is passed, let’s take a look inside. This monster starts with a huge grilled kielbasa, then topped by potato-cheddar pierogies, caramelized onions, cheese, and horsey sauce. Not to shabby, but does it all add up? At first, only sort of. Although I tried to get a little bit of everything into the first few bites I found the rest of the components to be totally over powered by the big and bold kielbasa. But after a few bites I finally got into it. The potato and pasta in the pierogies help mellow out the smokey bite of the sausage while the tangy cheddar and horseradish add some sharper notes to the big brassy tones of sausage and potato. And the caramelized onions once again add some much needed sweetness to the mix. Delicious to be sure, but I’m not sure if it ranks as one of the Best Sandwiches in the USA.”
http://www.fatheadscleveland.com/

Between these outings and the trip to Detroit I’m certainly no healthier than I was last Thursday, but I got to spend time with some of my favorite people, eating amazing food and drinking fantastic beers. Certainly time well spent!

I couldn’t find the original Maxim Best Sandwiches article, but another source (http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04234/365002-46.stm) provided the rest of the top ten:
10. Steak & Cheese -- Mugsy's Sub Galley, Yankton, S.D.
9. Cuban Sandwich (of pork, ham, etc.) -- Latin American Cafeteria, Miami.
8. French Dip -- Phillippe the Original, Los Angeles.
7. Brisket Sandwich -- Kreuz Market, Lockhart, Texas.
6. Beef On Weck -- Schwabl's, West Seneca, N.Y.
5. The Southside Slopes Headwich -- Fat Head's.
4. The (half shrimp, half oyster) Peace Maker -- Acme Oyster House, New Orleans.
3. The Combo (of rib tips and pig snout) -- C & K Barbecue, St. Louis.
2. The Nuke (ham, beef, turkey and three cheeses) -- The Staggering Ox, Helena, Mont.
1. The Fat Darrell (chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks with marinara and fries) -- R.U. Grill & Pizza, New Brunswick, N.J.

Ridiculous Eats XIII: This Is Why I'M Fat

I haven’t been on the “Ridiculous Eats” kick as much as usual, but having had a recent brush with the limits of food-too-muchery, I felt it was definitely time to revisit the land of too-plenty.

The location of this gorging was Cleveland Heights’ own Cedar Lee Pub & Grill. Located about a block from the similarly named movie theatre, the Cedar Lee Pub occupies a great location. Inside the bar is simple and welcoming; a large bar is centrally located with seating areas on either side. The minimal décor is charming with little on the walls to distract and our two-person booth was cozy and comfortable. Cedar Lee Pub offers a solid beer list and hosts some great nightly specials (on Monday night five bucks will get you a burger, fries, and a Labatt draught!). At a glance the CLP&G’s menu offers standard bar food, sandwiches, salads, wraps, etc., but nestled in the center panel of the menu is a laundry list of some really amazing burgers. The “Boss Hog” boasts pulled barbequed pork and fried onions, the “Polish” adds pierogies to the burger, and the “Say Cheese” is loaded with three different cheeses, bacon, and tomato on toasty garlic bread. Needless to say, the Cedar Lee Pub & Grill is not messing around.

(not the actual clp&g breakfast burger)

While pouring over this magical list of meaty morsels we sipped out beers, mine a wonderfully bitter and hoppy IPA from Stone Brewing and Nicole’s a Guinness, the real King of Beers. Deciding was tough, to say the least, but knowing that CLP&G is just down the street helped re-assure us that we could always come back for more. So, when the waiter came around to take our order this is what we put in: for Nicole the “Horsey” burger, slathered with horseradish, topped with cheese and pickles, and accompanied by a side of Thousand Island dressing, this burger has a super pungent bite. Ordered medium-rare, her burger was perfectly cooked and delicious. I, after some serious deliberation and a desire for something dangerous, finally picked the “Breakfast” over the “Boss Hog.” While there are numerous burgers out there boasting breakfast options as toppings (the “Kuma” at Kuma’s corner, the “Jamburger” and Jam, and the “Cyclops” at Buckeye Beer Engine to name a few) the Cedar Lee Pub and Grill offers two variants on this theme. The first is topped with bacon and a fried egg, sunny-side up, a la the aforementioned. But when the CDP&G says breakfast, they mean breakfast. My burger, an 8oz. patty before cooking, came topped with cheddar, bacon, scrambled eggs, and a hash-brown patty. Cooked somewhere south of medium but north of medium-rare, the burger was perfect. The bacon the Cedar Lee Pub uses is excellently smoked and cured, it tastes exactly the way bacon should taste, only better (the only other time I can recall having bacon this good, like better-than-bacon-good, was at Kuma’s). The generous scoop of scrambled eggs was also cooked exactly right, in that sweet spot between runny and rubbery. There are breakfast joints out there that can’t seem to get this right so maybe the CLP&G should offer some classes. But it was the hearty, greasy, salty goodness of the hash browns on top that took this burger out of bacon-and-egg burger territory and into the Ridiculous Eats zone. The richness of the fried potatoes added a great deal of depth and flavor to the burger without overpowering the other components, more of a supporting cast member rather than a lead. Amazingly, I polished this burger off in no time flat along with the delicious hand-cut fries that filled the rest of the plate space. Nicole opted for onion rings with her burger, a standard, but flavorful entry in the onion ring category, CLP&G’s are good, but I don’t think they’ll be taking home any awards for them.
http://www.myspace.com/cedarleepubandgrill
http://www.cedarlee.org/

The Cedar Lee Pub & Grill’s big front windows provide a good look inside, and the bar’s simple, unassuming interior kept me moving down the street in the past, but after my extraordinary evening and amazingly absurd burger there, I think I’ll be stopping in more often!

A Very Cleveland Night Out

With the snow falling fast and furious in Cleveland recently, the Cabin Fever has been hitting hard and often. So last week Nicole and I braved the elements to get out of our apartments for a few hours. Our mission was a taste of the near West Side, the neighborhood known as Ohio City. While certainly not strangers to Ohio City we opted to try a few newer places in order to spice things up a bit.

Our first stop was the Velvet Tango Room on Columbus Road. Nestled in the first floor of a house, the VTR is a bar and restaurant specializing in classic cocktails. As their website will tell you: “Once, there was a time when people understood the art of cocktails. A cocktail was not just a drink - it was a mood, a place, an aesthetic statement.” And that’s just what they do. Soft lighting, candles, and wood paneling give VTR a timeless, classic atmosphere while funky jazz floats off the stereo. While serving a higher class of cocktail than the average bar, VTR is surprisingly free of pretention; it’s simply the kind of place where fans of delicious, hand crafted cocktails can sip on a bit of history and a bit of invention.

While VTR’s mission is to present the highest quality cocktail possible, drawing on the mixology’s rich history, they’re not above innovation. Combing the best spirits available with the finest mixers and a slew of house made sodas, syrups, and bitters means VTR’s libations are as potent as they are delicious. After perusing both—that’s right both—drink menus Nicole and I ordered. For her a Manhattan. A classic cocktail usually consisting of bourbon or whiskey, vermouth, and bitters, the Tango Manhattan features VTR’s own wine reduction syrup, giving the drink a fullness and warmth not usually found in the traditional recipe. Served up in a cocktail glass this was one of the best Manhattan’s I’ve ever tried. I ordered the Old Fashioned. Building on a foundation of citrus muddled with sugar and bitters, this whiskey drink beautifully balances three of the four tastes. Deliciously smooth to sip with a beautifully subtle finish, this is easily one of the best cocktails I’ve ever had. Certainly a great way to start the evening, but all this perfection has a price, so be prepared to shell out or get there early for happy hour! This is certainly the Cleveland parallel to Chicago’s Violet Hour.
http://www.velvettangoroom.com/

With fancy-pants drinks tickling our hungry bones we departed the Velvet Tango Room in search of some eats. During one’s time in Ohio City there are plenty of food options, but hungering for something new we made for ABC the Tavern at Nicole’s suggestion. A bar that’s trapped between dive and respectable, ABC’s atmosphere is an atmosphere of no atmosphere. High ceilings, little to no décor, and dim lighting should signal blandsville, but somehow ABC pulls it off. We seated ourselves to a soundtrack of Al Green’s greatest hits—almost always appropriate—and ordered a round of Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPAs (along with Sierra Nevada’s pale this is one of the best widely available IPAs in the country). We scanned the short but tasty menu filled with bar food standards—appetizers, sandwiches, sides, etc.—and placed an order for their burger and the Jamaican Jerk Chicken sandwich.

Nicole’s burger was perfectly cooked and topped with frazzled (fried) onions. Absolutely amazing, any burger joint throwing raw onion on a burger is missing an opportunity to make their Average-Joe meat sandwich an All-Star by frying those aromatics up! My chicken had been slow cooked until it was juicy and tender, then pulled and tossed with a house made jerk sauce. Crammed to the gills with ginger, sweetened with some brown sugar, lightly torched by some hot chilies, with just a hint of smokiness the sauce made this sandwich one of the most messy, delicious things I’ve eaten in a long time. It was one of those beautiful moments of eating something and suddenly realizing it’s exactly what you’d wanted but had no idea. Both sandwiches are musts should you visit. Like all good bar food should, these beauties on buns came with sides of fries, but ABC doesn’t serve your everyday French fry. Sixe wise these were just north or shoestring, but just south of a full sized fry; boot-string, perhaps. Expertly fried, ABC quickly tosses their fries with salt, pepper, parsley, and green onions for a little extra something in every bite. Outside of the sweet potato fries I had at Frank’s in Akron Monday night, ABC’s are the best fries I’ve had in a long time.
http://cleveland.citysearch.com/profile/7984921/cleveland_oh/abc_tavern.html

Our hunger pacified for the time being we were still looking for a little of that night life, so we made one last stop before heading home in what would eventually become last week’s Snowpacalypse. Our last call of the evening was made at the Academy Tavern on Larchmere in the Shaker neighbor hood. Another no-frills, locals and regulars type joint, the Academy is the place to go for an Early Bird Special, the game on TV, and plenty of beer that tastes like beer. The perfect spot to end a great night out. We ordered a few Beam-and-Ginger-Ales, the drink that’s quickly becoming the drink of choice as winter winds down, and watched the Cavs come from behind for decisive victory over the hated Celtics. There’s nothing fancy about the Academy, but who needs fancy when you’re just plain good?
http://www.yelp.com/biz/academy-tavern-cleveland

This night out helped reinforce one of the greatest aspects of living in Cleveland: no matter your budget or location there's always a place to go that offers the best food, the best drinks, the best night out. All of Cleveland's neighborhoods and suburbs have a treasure trove of restaurants and bars just waiting to be discovered.

A Very Liver Punisher New Year's

What better place to ring in the new year than a big exciting city, right? That’s exactly the reason Nicole and I headed to Chicago this New Year’s Eve. That and the Girl Talk concert. And the bars. Oh, and the food, too.

Having visited that windiest of cities—and believe me, it’s fucking windy there in late December—I’m well aware of the plethora of food and drink options available, so visiting as many as possible during the trip is of highest priority.

We arrived in Chicago around nine having dined on leftover Gallucci’s pizza in the car. Our first stop was a party a Sara’s apartment where guests had brought a variety of hors d’oeuvres; tastiest amongst them were sausage stuffed mushroom caps. A little spicy, a little cheesy, definitely meaty, and a very satisfying bite or two. After a drink or two, including a delicious Hendrick’s gin and tonic—if you have the opportunity to try Hendrick’s in a cocktail of your choosing, do it, it’s incredibly smooth and the juniper flavor is well matched by floral undertones—we departed by cab for the show.
http://www.hendricksgin.com/us/about/index.asp

Girl Talk at the Congress Theatre was a blast, starting about 11:30 we all danced and partied until he called it quits around 1:00 or 1:30am. The venue was great and a movie-set style house was built as a back drop, giving the whole shindig a house party feel. And what, you may ask, did we toast the new year with? Why that champagne of beers, Miller High-Life, of course!
http://congresschicago.com/index.php?section=1

Post show we left our fellow revelers and made for the Flat Iron, a bar a few train stops away. Best part about this was the free train fare on New Year’s Eve, thanks Chicago! Arriving at the Flat Iron around 2:30 we grabbed a few PBRs and found our fellow revelers from the first party. After a few late night rounds our hunger returned so Nicole and I, along with her friend Gavin, trekked what seemed like a million blocks in the cold and blowy Chicago weather for some of the tastiest Mexican food north of the border: Arturo’s. Regular readers of this blog will remember Arturo’s from our last journey to Chicago, but it’s so good it bears repeating.
http://tiny.cc/GGETC

Arturo’s in an unassuming little place, patrons seat themselves and may have to share some of the larger tables should the place become overly crowded, as it was at about 4am on New Year’s Eve/Day. Luckily we were able to find a table to ourselves in the back corner. Service was a little slow that evening, but it was completely filled and probably had been since earlier that evening so I can’t fault them for being delicious and busy as a result. Eventually we ordered and our food arrived, it was slow but well worth the wait. I ordered a taco barbacoa: tender, savory steamed beef (think Mexican pot roast); one taco al pastor: spit roasted, seasoned beef (the “Mexican Gyro”), and a quesadilla (not on the menu, but they seem happy to make it for you). Everything was so delicious and simple, there aren’t tons of layers of cheese or excessive amounts of lettuce and tomato, just the filler, some onion, and a bit of cilantro on a homemade corn tortilla (which I think is their secret). Sated and weary we wandered back into the cold and made for Gavin’s apartment, which was the closest crash pad.
http://www.arturos-tacos.com/

The next morning we needed to excise the bit of hangover still hanging around, so the three of us walked to the Silver Could. A simple bar and restaurant, Silver Cloud offers delicious breakfast options and a tasty lunch/dinner menu. Looking for something simple and homey, I ordered the breakfast sandwich. Two eggs over medium, cheddar, and bacon on whole wheat was just what the doctor ordered, and the few bites I had of Nicole’s Salmon Benedict were pretty amazing, too. I think a mark of a good restaurant is the quality of their Hollandaise sauce. As a long time not-fan of the warm yellowy topping I believe that if a restaurant can make a Hollandaise that I can not only eat but enjoy then it must be good. Plus a little smoked salmon never hurt nothing.
http://www.silvercloudchicago.com/

Refueled and ready for action we hiked back to Sara’s for showers, mimosas, and relaxation. Champagne, orange juice, and The Hangover helped ease our transition from afternoon into evening when, surprise-surprise it was time to eat again. During our afternoon of laziness more friends and visitors arrived picking at the previous evening’s leftovers but we hungered for something more than snacks. Our first choice was more south-of-the-border fare at a popular new place called Big Star. The smells were delicious and the rumors of the queso fundido dip had certainly sparked our interest but when we arrived they were no longer seating parties looking to dine in. We drank a Tecate, one of my favorite Mexican beers, while we weighed our options. Finally Nicole suggested Handle Bar so we braved the elements again.

(Author’s aside: I don’t think I can accurately describe just how horribly cold it was the entire time we were in Chicago. It was like six degrees out most of the time, and that was before the wind chill factor was calculated in. Suffice it to say, it was fucking cold.)

Anyways…

We made it to Handle Bar in one frozen piece hungry and excited to eat. Handle Bar, for my Cleveland readers, is kind of like having Tommy’s relocate to the Grog Shop, serving up delicious vegan, vegetarian, and seafood dishes in a punk atmosphere—we dined to the entirety of the Ramones’ eponymous debut and then a solid chunk of the Nugets collection. Despite our chilly exteriors we chose to warm our insides with a pint each of Three Floyds’ Pride & Joy. A “mild ale” according to their website, Pride & Joy as a wonderful floral nose with a nice hop punch up front and smooth citrusy finish. Much like Tommy’s, Handle Bar’s menu is pretty simple featuring lots of sandwiches. Having had little vegetable matter in us in the last 48 hours or so Nicole chose the Green Meanie: avocado, herbed goat cheese, spinach, sprouts, tomato, and honey mustard on whole grain bread. The tomato-less bite I had was delicious! Also feeling the need for green I chose the Grilled Tofu sandwich: spice rubbed tofu, spinach, sprouts, and avocado spread on wholegrain bread. The spice crust on the tofu was excellent and didn’t mind the hot sauce boost I gave it, this was completed by the creamy avocado spread, and all this soft palate food was counter pointed by the crisp greens. But, as good as the beer and sandwiches were the real star of the show that night was the smoked gouda mac-n-cheese. Oh. My. Fucking. God. This was one of the most delicious things I’ve ever been fortunate to put in my eat hole. Perfectly prepared the noodles were still a little al dente, the sauce was thick and creamy, and the smokiness of the Gouda provided excellent balance to the rich sauce it helped create. I’m going out on a limb here, but I’ll say it: best mac-n-cheese, ever.
http://handlebarchicago.com/

With beer and (mostly) healthy, (totally) delicious food to steel ourselves against the cold we journeyed out into the arctic winds once more. Our ultimate destination was Inner Town Pub where our friends were continuing the weekend’s festivities, but we had another stop to make along the way. I’ve been lucky to have Nicole with my on these last few trips to Chicago. Having lived there for several years she knows a lot more interesting places to eat and drink than I could ever hope to stumble on or Google search for. Her suggestion for a digestif was The Violet Hour. Stashed away in a relatively unmarked building on North Damen, Violet Hour seeks to recreate the atmosphere of prohibition era speakeasies. The serve sophisticated, classic cocktails sometimes with a modern twist in a sprawling, mostly candle lit dining room and bar, with booths and tables masked from one another by curtains and high backs. Adding to atmosphere and mystery, Violet Hour concocts a large portion of their drink components, going so far as to brew their own bitters and steep their own flavored liqueurs. What does this all mean? Amazing cocktails well worth the $12 price tag, served in a bar the likes of which are rarely seen these days. I ordered the Daisy 17, assembled thusly: Wild Turkey 101 Rye, lemon, house Grenadine, and house orange bitters. As a flourish before serving, the drink is also showered by flaming orange oil. Sha, and might I add Zam! Not only did this taste amazing, sweet from the grenadine, sour from the lemon, bitter from the bitters and rye; but it packs quite a whallop. Despite the mixers the Daisy 17 is still mostly rye, and 101 proof at that. Top three mixed drinks of all time? I’d say so. Nicole’s drink was equally complex and delicious, and though the name escapes me at the moment, it was along the lines of a dry Manhattan spiked with the Violet Hour’s house made coffee bitters. If you’re looking to impress that special someone on your next trip to Chicago, Violet Hour is a must, just be patient trying to find it.
http://www.theviolethour.com/

The Cadillacs of cocktails fueling our engines and stoking our furnaces we continued our icy walk to the Inner Town Pub. A dim, dirty, dive of a bar where I felt a little more comfortable, or certainly not under dressed, at the Inner Town. We found our friends and discussed the night’s adventures over pints of Pinhead Pale Ale. One of the lighter entries in the pale ale family, Pinhead is fully but not overwhelmingly hoppy, yielding floral and light citrus tastes from its bouquet. A great jumping off point for people interested in pale ales but wary of too much hops. Having lost track of time and arriving later in the evening we had time for only a beer before last call. It was at this point that a decision had to be made: continue the party elsewhere or call it a night. The call to party on was made. The new question was: where?
http://www.yelp.com/biz/innertown-pub-chicago

Because of our location and the time of night a few of us—Nicole, Maureen, Sara, and me—ventured on to The Continental. Another dive-y bar that keeps its doors open until 4am. Among the first of the late night crowd to arrive we had no problem ordering a few PBRs and finding a seat. Within a half-hour or so the place began to fill up with other folks looking to keep the night alive. We drank our beers and talked a while until the DJs started playing really fantastic music. Mostly obscure 60’s funk/soul/R&B so we all decided to get up and cut a rug. We danced and drank cheap beer until getting the boot at 4:00 when we finally decided to call it a night. Although in not-unreasonable walking distance, it was certainly no warmer at 4am that it had been at 2, midnight, or 10 so we were eternally grateful for the grouchy cab driver who picked us up.
http://tiny.cc/thecontinental

After a good night’s sleep we awoke with one last mission before leaving Chicago: best lunch ever. It was determined that the place offering best odds on this endeavor was the now infamous Kuma’s Corner. What had started out as a not-so-quiet little bar and restaurant has become the heavy metal hang out for hipsters, foodies, and families alike. However, our first attempt to dine in was foiled by the enormous line for tables, like 3 hours or so. We left, investigated some local vintage stores, and picked up Maureen before heading back to Kuma’s. This time we were, as they say, “in it to win it,” so we hunkered down for the 2-3 hour wait. The wait was interesting as we got to see the vast array of Kuma’s clientele. There were, of course, the requisite metal dudes sporting their favorite black tee shirts emblazoned with increasingly inscrutable metal fonts and gory imagery. There were also the cool kids, investigating some place that’s been recently recognized as “hip enough.” But the strangest groups of people waiting for tables were the families. Kuma’s décor is pretty minimal, simple tables and chairs, a nicely carved bar, fairly well lit, but the music was primarily metal and the art on the walls was comprised largely of prints of partially naked women in bondage gear, some covered in Technicolor-red blood. No skin off my back, really, but it did make me wonder what the parents of the tweens waiting for burgers were thinking when they noticed. Anyways, we waited and waited before finally deciding that a beer might help the waiting process so Nicole and I split a pint of Three Floyds’ Gumball Head, the brewery’s wheat beer offering that drinks like an ale. Gumball Head is less cloudy than most wheat beers and way hoppier, too, but the hops and the wheat balance out making for a seriously enjoyable brew with bitter-sweet citrus notes. Unfortunately Three Floyds doesn’t distribute here in Ohio but if you’re ever in the greater Chicago metropolitan area pick up a case or two! We continued waiting, and waiting and finally decided that the second hour of waiting deserved another beer, this round: Three Floyds’ Alpha King. An amber colored American pale ale, Alpha King was definitely the most intense of the Three Floyds beers I tried on this trip. Just a hint of malt on the tip of the tongue then it’s all hops. Bracingly bitter with a grapefruit finish and a kiss of pine aftertaste, perfection in a glass. And our wait wore on and on, we watched all sorts of people come and go, drooling over the amazing food that was being hurried past us but a wait staff that no doubt saw the hunger and desperation in our eyes. And then, finally, just as we began to give up hope they called our names.

Seated, we poured over the menu trying to figure what to eat and what we’d seen served during our wait. There was the mountainous Slayer a burger served atop a plate of fries and topped with anger! There were the pulled pork fries, barbequed pork and cheese draped atop Kuma’s waffle fries. And, of course, there was the build-your-own mac-n-cheese. So many options but only one stomach. It was agreed before we were seated that our repast would consist of, at least in part, the pulled pork fries. This was a great decision. The pork is perfectly slow-cooked and drenched in one of the best barbeque sauces I’ve ever tasted. Spicy and sweet like a good barbeque sauce should be, but there was something else to it that pushed it past good and way into great. What that was, though, I’m not sure. And as if amazing pulled pork and waffle fries weren’t enough the whole thing is topped with melted jack cheese! The cheese provides just enough saltiness to counterbalance the sweet (but not too sweet) barbeque sauce. This is a must for any/all visits to Kuma’s. Round two brought us Kuma’s famous customizable mac-n-cheese; we added bacon and caramelized onions. There have been some mighty high praises of Kuma’s mac-n-cheese sung on this blog, and make no mistake it is really good, but it still places second to Handle Bar’s smoked gouda variation. Bacon and caramelized onions were definitely good adds.

Finally, the reason we came. Round three arrived and we were not disappointed by the monstrous mounded before us. In my corner: Neurosis with cheddar, Swiss, caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, and horseradish mayo. Cooked a perfect medium, this burger is hearty and mouthwatering with the sweet onions providing counterpoint to the salty cheese, the mushrooms adding to the meatiness of the 10oz patty, and enough horseradish in the mayo to alert the sinuses. I chose well. Nicole chose the eponymous Kuma Burger. Topped with cheddar, bacon, and a fried egg it was our skipped breakfast and dinner all in one. It should also be noted that while we all know about the magic of bacon, Kuma’s bacon is in a league of its own, incredibly rich pork flavor and perfectly smoked; it should be a side dish. On the opposite side of the table Sara ordered the Kaijo topped with more of this amazing bacon, bleu cheese, and “frizzled” onions. Long, thin strands of fried onion, the frizzled onions were mounded on top her burger like some delicious bird’s nest. And finally Maureen tried the Plague Bringer. Kuma’s spicy burger, the Plague Bringer is Kuma’s 10oz burger topped with roasted garlic mayo, tortilla strips, Chicago CO-OP hot sauce, fresh garlic, pepper jack, and sliced jalapenos. According to her it was more than a little spicy, but judging by the looks of it the tongue pain was probably well worth it.
http://www.kumascorner.com/

And so it seemed the hype and fanfare and waiting was all worth it. Kuma’s is definitely a Chicago food destination whether you’re a metal fan or not. Although it wouldn’t hurt anything. With our bellies swelling past full and the check paid we braved the cold once more to retrieve Sara’s car before making the long journey back to Cleveland. And if the events of New Year’s Eve suggest things to come in the new year then this year, this decade even, are off to great starts!

And stay tuned! Coming soon: real actual pictures from the big New Year's trip!

Bring Your Game, Appetite, too!

Dig this delicious post from MSN's Delish.

Tired of the same old stadium food? Soggy, undercooked fries, withered mystery dogs that have been sitting around since last season, and stale corn chips splattered with a cheese-like sauce and a few jalapeno slices masquerading as nachos?

Then feast your eyes on this! Delish delivers 10 of the country's best stadium food offerings, including the Victory Knot (right) which may be the only reason to see the Detroit Lions this year. This hearty, 2-pound pretzel is served with spicy mustard, sweetened cream cheese, and beer cheese.

http://www.delish.com/recipes/cooking-recipes/best-football-stadium-food?GT1=47001

Dinner and a Movie: Bargin Night

Lucky enough to be in Cleveland on a Monday with nothing to do and a few bucks in your pocket, brother, you got it made!

Monday night is Bargain Night in Cleveland Heights and here's where to go:

Start your evening at The Tavern Company (2260 Lee Road, Cleveland, Ohio, 44118)

Their Monday night special is a burger and a beer for just $5. Good luck finding a burger or a beer for that much, let alone both! The burger is standard, but delicious. I ordered mine medium and it was verging on medium well, but tasty nonetheless. A juicy, but not too fatty, third-pound patty served with pickles, onion, tomato, and your choice of cheese, this is accompanied by a hand full of golden fries. That alone is a worthy $5 special, but they also throw in a beer of your choice. When I first heard about this I figured that it would be just the cheap beers, but it applies to anything on their list. I had a Flying Dog IPA, and it was delicious. A special this great is sure to draw a crowd, but we were lucky enough to be seated immediately, however, I'm told this is not the case normally so plan on getting there early or waiting for a bit. All things considered, this might be the best meal deal... um, ever. I dare you to beat it.

Hunger sated and ready for fun, where do you go? Well if you walk down Lee to the intersection of Cedar you will find the Cedar Lee (http://www.clevelandcinemas.com/cinemadrilldown.asp?incCin=2921)

The Cedar Lee is the best place to see the majority of independent and foreign films that filter through Cleveland. Yeah, a few of the other theaters get some of the films, too, but not as often and not as wide a selection. And yeah, there's the CIA Cinematheque, but they only run their films for a few showings over the course of a week or two, giving you very little opportunity to see them. Nope, the Cedar Lee is definitely the way to go, especially on Mondays when you can see a show for just $5! (obviously the marquee's a little out of date)

Sensing a pattern? $5 movie, $5 burger and beer? Before tip and tax you've just had a night on the town for $10. $10!!! you can barely see a movie for that anymore, let alone get food and a drink. Not to mention you're in a great part of town, if you're looking for further entertainment you're within walking distance of any number of bars and night clubs and you're just a short drive from the Cedar-Fairmount area and Coventry, both rife with evening activities.

Monday night in Cleveland Heights really is the place to be and I dare you to find a better deal anywhere else.