A Food Stuff I Can't Live Without

I've been told I'm kinda bland. Not so much in the personality department, more so in taste bud land. So what if my beverage of choice is water and I think salad tastes better plain? Just because I don't wanna mar my delicious tacos with some hot sauce doesn't make me a total square. I can be a fan of a condiment here and there. Chick patties taste great with some Veganiase, and I can't eat a soy riblet without a bit of plain yellow mustard. But if there is absolutely one condiment I can't live without, it's ketchup. I would pretty much drench anything in it if that was more socially acceptable. I feel like I'm already pushing the limits when I top off my entire breakfast plate with it (hashbrowns, eggs, toast, and soy sausages all taste better swimming in sweet sweet ketchup). But whatevs, it's cheap and basically counts a vegetable serving, right? In fact, maybe that's what I should start spicin' my leafy greens up with...yeah...

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Things I Do When the Boyfriend Is Gone

I love to cut corners, especially when it comes to meals. I hate the longevity of prep, cooking, and then cleaning up. I usually try to cram all the steps together in some explosive way that I usually regret later. I make a hobby of this mostly when the live in boyfriend is out. He doesn't consider throwing salad dressing into the bag of mixed greens a viable option, and he's not impressed when I eat peanut butter straight from the jar for lunch. He's really into cooking whole, healthy, and delicious meals and then putting them on a plate. The plate part is important, it took me a year to get him to eat Chinese food out of the take out box with me.

I really love that he makes all the meals because a) it's very thoughtful and b) I don't have to do shit, except eat his wonderful cooking...giving me more time to write about, uh, food. See it's not that I don't want yummy meals, it's just difficult to make them when you live in Lazytown USA. So when he goes places and leaves me to my own devices I blithely do lots of lazy things around the kitchen that I know would make him cringe. I leave the fridge door open while I use stuff, I stick the same knife into multiple condiment jars, I eat things cold with out cooking them, I eat ice cream for dinner if we don't have food, and I stack dishes up on the floor in front of the couch after I eat off of them, that is if I even use a dish. I try to avoid that as much as possible. Recently I've indulged in just eating whatever right off the cutting board, why dirty more stuff?

Then if a dish is dirty, I try my hardest to get someone else to deal with it before I just pull it together and toss it in the sink.

I know, I'm a total maverick. And now, I'm off to eat hashbrowns and cereal for breakfast. Yes, I will be eating those shredded potatoes right out of the pan...